


Trauma

by LeahCat



Category: Bandom, Blink-182, My Chemical Romance, Supernatural
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Crying, Cussing, Death, Depression, Drama, Fear, Gay, Hurt, Love, Rape, Sexual Content, Sexual Violence, Tears, Violence, curse, scared, sick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-01
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 07:45:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 23,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/950528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeahCat/pseuds/LeahCat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard Way and his brother Mikey Way are living their life like every kid or teen would; trying to find what's normal and what's not. But when your normal is different from everyone else's you start to realize it...or do you?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Monsters aren't always under the bed.

May 17th, 1982:

I looked out onto the dark night sky. The stars where out; but something was wrong with them. They were dark. That’s the only good I remember from that night; the rest of it other than the bad, was a blur. I was lying in bed listening to the fan on my ceiling move and watching it spin. My brother Mikey was in my parent’s room. He was almost 2 and I was 5. 

I closed my eyes finally, getting tired, letting my dreams settle and bloom. When I was almost asleep a noise hits my ears. Not that normal in my small little house to hear that loud of a noise, unless someone was yelling. Guess, that explained why it was yelling. 

My Mother and Father didn’t get along that well when I was that age. I was 5, I thought it was normal…but it wasn’t normal; not even close. Most nights I would stay in bed and wait for it to stop; it always did. But that night it lasted awhile, and got louder. 

I decided to get out of my bed and look. The house was only a 1 story home. We were poor with my parents jobs but, again, I was 5…it was normal. The noises where coming from the kitchen and got louder as I walked closer; making it to the corner of the room looking in. 

My bare feet didn’t make a noise going in the room and I wasn’t seen behind the kitchen table. I could hear my parents yell more, saying words they told me not to say. 

“Fucking hell Donna, how do you lose your job in 2 days?” 

“Maybe cause you kept me up all night you fucking man whore!”   
“Come on, you wanted it.” 

“Fuck you Donald.” 

“What did you say?”

“FUCK YOU DONALD!”

I heard a loud thump and then silence. My Mom was on the floor and had spotted me. My eyes might have been teary, I didn’t remember. Everything was blurry though and so silent you could hear the sticks fall and move outside. 

I ran back to bed, shutting my door hitting the wall louder than expected. My breathing was heavy and all saw was darkness. I was hiding under the covers. That wasn’t my parents; that was a monster fighting my mom. 

The sheets on my bed became lighter with squeaking noise coming from my door. Was the monster in my room; I thought. My thought was cancelled by the caring voice of my mother. “Gerard. Gerard honey, come look at me, it’s okay.” 

I peeked out my eyes out onto the dark gaze of my room seeing my mother look at me with a worried look. Apparently my eyes were wet because she touched my cheek wiping a tear off it. My full head was out of the cover; I could see everything. My Dad’s body was outside the door, making me go back into my shell, hiding from danger. 

My shield was lifted up by my mother’s hand and I screamed into her. “No, mommy no, the monster will get me!” My head was into her, making her hold me tight. “Gerard look, the monster’s gone.” 

I slowly pecked my eyes out looking at the door. It was half way closed with no one there. She held me tight and put me in her lap. I let my head fall into her again leaving a path of spots where my eyes had been. She gave me gentle pats on the back and rubbed it slightly. “Can you look at me honey?” She asked in a whisper. My eyes darted up to her warm fitting eye. 

“As long as I’m here, the monster will never hurt you, Gerard. I promise.” I nodded a she wiped my eyes again getting my back to bed. “I’ll always be here to protect you, honey. Okay?” 

“Yes mommy.” I replied in a whisper and got comfy in bed. She tucked me in and kissed my head, smiling. I watched my mother leave, shutting my door completely; making start watching my fan in silence again. My parents were talking outside my door, not the monster and my Mom; My Mom and Dad where talking. 

“If you hadn’t got me fucking pregnant twice, I’d be divorcing your ass right now.” 

“If we weren’t near a 5 year olds room, I’d not be talking right now.” 

“I’m going to bed, sleep on the damn couch you fucking whore.” 

A door shut and silence came again. I got out my sketchpad from my bedside table, looking at my old drawings that I had done in times like this. I got out a pencil hoping no one would come in seeing me draw. 

I drew on bad days. At that time it was stick figures but I loved drawing. I drew the monster at my door with my mother stopping it from coming in. I was hugging her tight. She was my super hero in this story. She’d always be here for me and my brother. The monster would never ever get us with her there, I thought. 

My drawing was done after a couple of minutes. I tucked it back into my bedside table and watched the fan spin once again. The clock said it 12:06 at night. It didn’t matter to me, my superhero was with me. She always was. Finally I closed my eyes to dream of my fairy tale of wonder. The day was dark and scary maybe, but when I looked at it differently the stars where bright again; at least for now.


	2. Babysitting

September 27th, 1982:

Mikey and I sat on the couch watching TV. He had just turned 2 and felt proud of himself. This is what he and I did when the parents told us we weren’t allowed near their room. Mikey and I never understand why but, every time they’d come out, my Dad would have a good grip on my Mom’s arm and she’d have a couple of bruises. 

I guessed it was normal; it happened about once a week. Mikey didn’t remember any of this but, it sure affected him. Mikey’s favorite was my Mom and went with her. Followed her around, talked to her. He told me the stuff he was too afraid to tell anyone else, and told my Dad stuff he wanted. 

My Dad didn’t talk us much and only say love you when we were going to bed. My Dad teased Mikey a lot; almost too much. Mikey was almost afraid of my Dad, I always guessed that’s why he teased him. 

My Mother and Father were talking each other. They were waiting for the babysitter to come because it was Saturday. My parents worked every single day of the week and on Saturday’s Mike’s and I didn’t go to school or whatever Mikey went to. 

“Mikey, Gerard can you come here?” My Mom yelled from the front door. The babysitter, Carle was there and so was everyone else, expect for my Dad. My Dad was already in his car leaving for work. He never said bye, he just left. My Mom picked up Mikey and started talking to him with a soft voice. “Are you going to be okay this time, when Mommy’s gone?” 

Mikey nodded with a frown wishing she didn’t have to go. “Will you Gerard?” She asked patting my head. I nodded, as I was used to this. Carle was our regular babysitter; she had been babysitting us for a year now. 

My Mother kissed Mikey’s cheek and then put him down; kissing me on the cheek as well. “I love you two, I’ll be back tonight, okay?” 

“Ok Mommy, I wove you too.” Mikey answered and shyly turned to me. “I love you too, Mom.” I answered. She left into her car leaving us with Carle. 

Mikey and I walked into the den and sat waiting for Carle to talk. “Hey boys, are you guys okay today?” She came and sat down with us and smiled. 

We were silent, not being asked that much, we didn’t really know how to answer. “I’s good.” Mikey said to her and lay down.   
“Are you okay, Gerard?” She asked and I nodded. Carle turned the TV on for us. Mikey loved Carle like a sister; she was his best friend as Mikes would say. “Carle can us colwr?” 

She laughed and nodded holding Mikey’s small hand going into the kitchen table, giving him a piece of paper and crayons. Carle watched him draw, and scribble all over the paper. “What are drawing Mikey?” 

“It’s a wanbow!” He yelled out and accidently making a crayon hit the floor, leaving a mark on the floor. “Oppsy” He announced and picked it up going over to me. “Gerawr, Gerawr! Come colwr with me!”

I got up not wanting to hurt his feelings. Carle got me and paper out and I grabbed a crayon. I drew my mom and dad. Dad was holding onto mom and was smiling while my Dad stared at her. “What are you drawing, Gerard?” 

“I’m drawing Mom and Dad.” I answered and finished it up. Carle looked at it and gazed. “That’s good Gerard.” 

“Thank you.”

“You’re Welcome.”  
*****

It was later that night, when my Mom and Dad where usually home. Carle was yawning and looking at her watch. It was about 6:00 at night and Mikey was having tired eyes too. It’d been a long day. 

“Gerard did your parents say when they’d get back?” I shook my head and said “Mom said she on regular schedule.” 

Carle looked out the window a couple times and came back. Mikey ran up to her, holding his pants. “Yes, Mikey?” 

“I gotta go pee-pee, bad!” He said almost jumping out of his pants. She’d never taken him to the bathroom before, because he’d always hold it till my parents came home. Mikey didn’t like being watched but he couldn’t hold it anymore, I guessed. 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier, Mikey? Let’s go!” She held his hand and they ran to the bathroom. He was groaning as he walked and the little potty we had in the house she opened for him. He pulled down his pull-ups and starting doing his business. He finished a Carle dumped it into the toilet. “Good Job Mikes!” She said and helped him to the sink. 

Mikey ran out and looked for me. “Gerawr, I did it again!” He yelled. “Good job Mikey, two times in a row!” I high fived him and he smiled. We went and got our PJ’s on and played a little. This was our normal. Mikey would pick up a comic book and act like he was reading it or something. He would dance if I turned the radio on. He was happy.

After all the talk about that our door bell rings and it goes silent. “Hold on, I’ll get it boys.” Carle says as she gets up and opens the door to see my dad. My Dad looked her in the eyes. Dad didn’t look like himself. “Carle…you can go, I’ve got the boys.” She nodded and left. Where was Mom? 

My Dad looked us in the eyes, looking serious but for the first time, caring. “Boys…I got to tell you something.” I walked near my father and Mikey followed behind me, slowly. “Mommy’s not coming home.” He said in louder than expected. Mikey looked at him and whispered “Why Daddy?” 

He coughed and bit his lip. 

 

“Mommy’s dead.”


	3. Kryptonite

September 27th, 1982:

The room went silent and Mikey looked at me; not understanding. I was 5 and I didn’t understand fully, but I did cry. My Dad let me cry into him while Mikey just watched not knowing, what was going on. 

My Dad walked off to the house phone and called our Grandparents. I could only hear my Dad talking. He told them the news and started explaining what had happened. 

“She was at a stop light and a drunk driver hit the driver’s side of her car, making her car spins out of control. She probably would have died anyway but she hit a tree and…well died.” 

It was later at night and my Dad was taking Mikey and I to bed. He carried Mikey to bed as he had fallen asleep on the couch. I walked to bed alone and took my sketchpad out to draw. I drew a villain hitting my Mom’s car, her only weakness. 

The monster hadn’t come in a while, at least to me. ‘Maybe he died too?’ I thought. I hoped she killed him on her way. My drawing was finished and I put it away. My Dad never came to check on me; not like he did any other day. 

I looked out my window and there were no stars out. The clouds were over them; it was completely dark. Not only the sky was dark but the clouds were too. I always wondered why sometimes the clouds were dark and sometimes they weren’t. I told myself it was the mood of the day not knowing it meant it was going to rain.   
I watched my ceiling fan before shutting my eyes, dreaming already. 

*****

My eyes were opened by a flash of light out the window; lightening. Thunder came after it, so strong that it was shaking the house. It didn’t bother me, I liked hearing the rain. It calmed me. My superhero told me it made it the clouds crying. I could believe that. 

I started to close my eyes again, maybe falling asleep better until a tiny whimper comes to my ear with footsteps that were almost silent. 

“G-Gerawr, Ger-rawr” Mikey whimpered, almost in a whisper. I sat up to see my little brother in tears. A tear would fall off his cheek as another formed in his big eyes. He held his blue blanket tight; it was a bigger blanket so he dragged it on the floor. 

Mikey’s feet were pigeon toed, like my mothers and his knees would stick out. He was crying harder than I had first thought; I didn’t know what to do. My Mom would always help Mikey. 

“Mikey, come here, what’s wrong?” I said as he walked slowly to me dragging his blanket across the floor. He stood in front of me. “Ge-Gerawr I’s sc-scared.” He wiped one of his tears away as he finished talking. 

“Daddy to-told me to g-go a-away and Mommy’s not ho-home yet.” He cried about to bring on more tears. I patted my bed and he sat on it. “Mikey…Mommy’s not coming home…” 

Mikey was still crying and every time thunder would come he would cry harder. He lay down on my bed near me so scared. “W-wes she is, she al-always d-d-does.”   
Mikey looked out my side window, hoping the rain would stop. “No Mikes…Mommy’s never coming back home…” My eyes were a bit teary but even as a 5 year old, I didn’t like crying. 

“W-why, w-why is sh-sh-she not com-comwing ho-home?” 

“Mikey…Mommy’s…Mommy’s dead.”

“No, n-no sh-she’s not!” 

I shook my head at Mikey and Mikey still didn’t believe me. All at once a big thunder came out of nowhere and Mikey was crying so loud, pretty much yelling.   
“M-make it s-s-stop, M-m-make the w-wain go a-away!!!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, crying louder than I thought possible. The next thing we knew my Dad was in my doorway. “Michael James Way, come here now!” 

Mikey kept crying loud and shook his head. “I said now Mikey!” 

Mikey got up and kept on crying. My Dad had a can in his hand. That was the drink my parents would tell us never to drink…later finding out it was called Beer.   
“Stop crying Mikey, it’s rain and go back to bed, pussy!” Mikey cried more and ran to bed; not even knowing the meaning of that word. 

“If you don’t stop crying Mikey, I will go in there!” After that Mikey put his head in his pillow and cried softly. My Dad walked over to me, next. “What the hell did you tell him to make him cry that hard boy?!” 

I was shaken up and I looked him straight in the eyes. “He thought Mom was coming home…and she’s not.”

He looked at me with evil in his eyes, no more care. “Let him think what he wants, I’m the only parent in this house now, Gerard. I make the rules, you hear me?! Next time this happens I’m punishing you, not just him. Now go to sleep and I don’t want to hear you until morning.” 

I was scared now and just nodded. He walked away and shut my door hard. About 5 minutes later Mikey was in my room again, staring at me.   
“Gerawr…I-I’m still scared…” I looked down at the small little boy as he talked. “C-can I sleep with you?” I nodded at him as he got up on the bed with me. 

“Gerawr, c-can I ask you something?”

“Yes, Mikey?”

“Was that weally Daddy?” 

“No…not to me.”

“I thought Mommy said that the monster would never get us as long as she was around.”

“She did, Mikes…She did. She’s not around anymore…” 

Mikey looked up at me, maybe realizing it now. He cried into me silently making my shirt get wet. He fell asleep like that. He was scared and didn’t understand what was going on. 

 

My Superhero didn’t kill the monster… The monster killed my superhero.


	4. Public Places

November 3rd, 1982:

The last 2 months were the worst 2 months ever; at least so far. Mikey cried literally everyday; either from the monster hurting him or him wanting his Mom back. Mikey wasn’t even aloud to sleep with me anymore, because it was too childish…although we were children. 

Every time Mikes would cry he would get hit or pushed until he stopped. This was now our normal…what we called normal. We were never talked to unless being yelled at. It was normal. I wasn’t allowed to have any of my friends over; neither could I go to theirs. My Dad said it was bad for me. 

Everything we did was a problem and we never had argued back. Mikey never did anymore, if he didn’t stop crying, my Dad would duct tape his mouth or kick him until he stopped. It was normal. 

“Michael, Gerard, get in the car!” He yelled at us. Mikey ran out of the den not wanting him to say it twice. I ran from my room and met them in the car. We were allowed to talk in the car, as long as none of Dad’s friends or workers was in there. 

Mikey wiggled around in his seat, crossing his ankles. I looked at him and he was looking out the window. I whispered to him “Mikey, are you okay?” 

My Dad was looking at the road, not paying attention to us. Mikey shook his head and wiggled around in his seat. “What’s wrong?” I mouthed as I saw my Dad looking at us.  
Mikey grabbed his genitals and bit his lip. Mikey whispered “I gotta go badwe, Gerawr.” 

“Why didn’t you go before we left?” I said almost silent. He whispered “I didn’t wanna get welled at.” 

I didn’t know what to do. I mouthed “Just hold it as long as possible and if needed…tell Dad.” Mikey nodded holding his crotch. My Dad got out of the car and yelled “Get out of the Car boys and don’t say a word!” 

We got out and saw we were at some hardware store. I think it was Lowe’s. Mikey was walking funny and was biting his lip, moaning, having to hold it. Mikey mouthed to me “I have to tell him!” 

Mikey started talking in a normal noise. “D-Daddy, I”

“No talking!” 

“But Daddy, I weally”

“NO TALKING!” 

Mikey kept holding his crotch and walked slowly. “Gerawr, I can’t hold it anymore!” Mikey said really loud and my Dad stopped. “Michael James Way, I said no talking and I meant it! I don’t care what’s going on! Be a fucking man.” 

“But, Daddy” 

“We are going to have a talk when we get home, mister! Now shut up!” 

Mikey stood there and almost crying while holding it. I felt bad for him. Mikey didn’t speak another word and kept walking on. My Dad finally bought something and hadn’t even noticed Mikey eyes getting teary. 

We got in the car and started driving. Mikey was holding his crotch hard and moaning looking around. We were about 10 minutes to the house when Mikey let go of his crotch. Not 2 seconds after that one side of Mikey’s jeans were getting darker soon after his jean leg, with some going on the car floor and all over his car seat. 

Mikey started crying softly hoping the monster wouldn’t find out. Dad was looking at us through the review mirror. “What’s going on back there?”

We didn’t talk. “I said what the hell is going on back there?!” Mikey just cried softly on and I had to spill him out…or else I’d be in trouble too. “Mikey…Mikey had an accident…”

My Dad’s eyes went big. “What do you mean?!” 

“Dad…he wet himself.” 

“Oh my fucking God, Michael fucking Way, you have no idea how much trouble you’re in!” 

Mikey started crying harder. “What’d I say about crying?!” 

Mikey stopped as we got home. “Gerard, get in the house! I’ll be in there in a couple of minutes.” As I was leaving the car and going inside the house I heard my Dad one more time. “What a fucking mess, that your cleaning up! You fucking idiot!” 

I ran to my room and looked out the window, seeing out the Mikey and him. I didn’t know any of the words he was saying but Mikey was crying again. 

Mikey got out of the car and had his hands in his face. My Dad acted like he was helping Mikey until they got into the house. I could hear everything. Mikey had to change clothes first and he did and came back to my Dad. 

“You talked when you know the rules!!! You’re not supposed to fucking talk in public!! I meant it!!! If you have to pee, you fucking hold it, you idiot! You should know this!”  
He kicked the back of Mikey’s knee and he fell. Mikey cried out. “You made a mess in the car, so I’m going to make a mess of you, so you can learn!!!” 

My Dad kicked and punched Mikey all over and gave him a ton a bruises. This was the worst he had done to any of us. Mikey even had a couple of scratches and he had never done that before. He let Mikey go and he ran to the bathroom crying. 

I walked into the bathroom checking on him. He was sitting on the sink counter crying with his hands in his face. I touched his foot carefully telling him that I’m here. “Mikey, are you okay?” 

He shook his head. “I h-hurt weally b-b-bad, I’s a ho-horrible k-kid.” I patted Mikey’s back and frowned. “Where does it hurt the most, Mikey?” 

He pointed at his hand. There was a huge scratch on it, with a bruise right next to it. The scratch was bleeding and was deep, on the very top of his hand. I didn’t know it then but, if I had it would have needed some better care than it had. 

Mikey came out of the bathroom and walked to his room, and I walked to mine. My Dad was at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, and watching TV. That wasn’t my Dad anymore…my dad was eaten by the monster. 

This was the monster with my Dad inside him. The monster had taken Dad and Mom. I never wanted him to get me. I was trying my best to be good. I drew a picture of what happened to Mikey and put it away. If I was good, nothing would happen.

at least that's what I thought.


	5. Burn

December 15th, 1982: 

Mikey and I were out of school. My Dad took us out a couple of days early, and I’ll never know why. Mikey and I were playing around that morning. We didn’t laughed much, and we would smile at each other when Dad wasn’t around; at least sometimes.

Mikey wanted to play a game and with every ‘no’ I said, he kept on begging. I fell into his wishes to get away from the begging; I shouldn’t have. We had to run around the house and try to get each other; most kids called it ‘Tag’. 

Mikey was it and I was running from him. It had gone well for awhile. Our Dad was in the office and never heard or saw us, surprisingly. Mikey was still trying to get me and I was doing so well. 

I ran around and around until I hit a lose nail on the ground; making it rip my skin. I tripped and the next thing I know my head had hit the side table. The vase on top fell and broke with a loud crash...

My brother ran to his room. I figured I was dead…

And with that my Dad came out of his office quickly, with anger. His face was almost red and he was walking kind of funning with a glass bottle in his hand. He walked quickly over to me while I was shaking in fear. 

My Dad or the monster I mostly called was standing above me. He looked so mad and I remember almost puking. “Stand up!” he yelled and in seconds I was up. 

He stared at me and started to ask question. “Do you like broken shit, boy?!” I shook my head. “Then why did you break this?!” 

“I…fell.” I said quiet as a mouse. My father pushed my over on the ground where the glass was and pain swelled in my back. The sharp covers hitting different spots. The next thing I knew, the top of my arm was in pain too. He had crashed his glass bottle onto the floor next to me. 

“Clear up the mess and if you talk another word today, you’ll get more; learn, you stupid fuck.” With that I was picking up the glass with my hands, getting them cut up as well. Glass was stuck in my back and bleeding but I didn’t do anything about it. Mikey was in the corner of his room, staring at me. 

Mikey ran over to me when I was done cleaning and getting myself fixed up. “I’m so swrry, Gerawr...I didn’t mean…mean for you to get hurt!” He said as tears were forming in the corner of his eye. 

“I forgive you…” I said calmly and let him cry on me. Mikes calmed down and walked back to his room as did I. It was getting late and our Dad was about to come and get us for a bath. He never gave us a bath but he would tell us to go take one. He always would yell us about our hairs being greasy and dirty but we didn’t really know how to wash it. 

And like I said my Dad was in Mikey’s room asking for him to take a bath. “Michael it’s time to take a bath.” My brother was drawing and obviously wasn’t thinking and ‘ignores’ him. “Michael James Way I told you, it’s time to take a bath, gets your ass to the bathroom.” Mikey replies the worst thing he could have possibly said other than no. “Hold on!” 

My Father gets red but soon gets…calm. He walks into my room “Gerard, you’ll take one tomorrow.” This was a little too odd. He walked into Mikey’s room and picked Mikey up putting him into the bathroom. My Dad slammed the door shut behind him and turned the water on for Mikes. I didn’t hear anything but water for awhile so I went to go hear what was going on. 

Next thing I know Mikey is screaming at the top of his lungs. “NO, IT BURNS; THE WATER BURNS!” Splash noises where happening every second with every scream. “Get in the water damn it!” My Dad yelled. 

There was no more yelling for a couple of seconds with a huge splash. After that there was a huge yell from the top of his lungs. “IT BURNS!!!!”  
I ran away from the door and back to bed not wanting to hear him in that pain. There was a lot of yelling from there on and my Dad must have washed his hair. Mikey was screaming that his eyes where burning after my Dad said to keep his eyes open. 

My Dad went out of the bathroom, so I looked out my door to see what my dad did to my little brother. My brother had a towel around his waist, while lying down on the floor crying. After awhile he got up which showed me…what happened. He was dark red everywhere and on most places on his body there were blisters. 

He kept his hands on his eyes or wouldn’t open them. This was horrible. Mikey got loose clothes on and finally opened his eyes; that were as red as red could get. He walked into my room and sat on my floor. “Gerawr, I weally, hurt.” 

I nodded. “I know Mikey… It’ll get better.” 

“When will it Gerawr?”

“Soon enough…”

“I wish…”

Mikey stared at me and walked out, leaving me alone. I started to draw out what had happened that day, like most days. I drew glass and Mikey in the bath tub and put it away.   
The weather that day was cloudy with sun shining through sometimes. Was it telling me that there was hope? A new superhero would come to save me from the monster… 

 

All I could do was hope.


	6. Fear

March 13th, 1986:

It been 4 years of just living with my Dad; the monster of himself. I was 9 almost 10 at that time, and Mikey was 6. Nothing had changed other than me and Mikey. My Dad was still a monster. I was in 4th grade and Mikey was in 1st. When my Dad would pass out on the couch, we didn’t go to school. Maybe at that time I didn’t understand why he did, but later I knew it was from alcohol. 

I talked to people at school, and had 2 best friends. There was Frank Iero, who I met in 1st grade and kept as a friend. I never went to his house and he never came to mine because my father would never allow it…but we hung out at parks and of course school, a lot. My other best friend was Thomas Delonge, but everyone just called him Tom. I met Tom this year. He was placed next to me in our class on accident; my teacher forgot about him while doing assigned seats. We talked way too much in class and once almost in trouble for it. 

Frank and Tom were nothing alike. Tom was a tall lanky boy with blondish brown hair; he loved wearing hats and didn’t care about…well anything. Frank was a short chubby boy with dark brown, almost black hair; he loved talking and playing around but if his friend got hurt, he’d laugh and then help them. 

It was a Friday and I was at school with them 2. Lunch time was at the very end of the day for us 4th graders; I never understood why. Tom, Frank and I were talking before school was over for the weekend to begin. “Gerard, what do you have planned this weekend?” Tom asked drinking from a juice box, trying to act like a man. I shrugged “Same old, same old…Probably nothing.” 

“Why don’t you come over to my place?” He asked with wide hopeful eyes. “I can’t…I never can.” I said looking down, finishing my sandwich. Tom looked over to Frank. “What about you Frank?” Frank looked up and smiled. “I can ask and I’ll call your home.” 

Tom nodded. “Too bad Gerard never gets too. That sucks.” I nodded. “My Dad never lets me go anywhere…I don’t know why…I’ve been so good.”

“Maybe you could ask? He might change his mind?” Frank suggested. “I don’t know…he might get mad.” Tom rolled his eyes. “That’s no big deal if he gets mad!” 

My Dad told me I could never tell anyone about what he ‘teaches’ us or how he punishes us. So I didn’t said anything after that; school was about to end for today, anyway. Tom poked me. “Remember to ask Gee, okay?” 

I nodded sort-of as Frank and Tom walked to their parent’s car. I waited for Mikey to come over to me. He was always later coming out of the school; he never ran or walked fast. Mikey and I walked home every day; our house was just a block away from the school. 

Mikey came walking over to me, as slow as he could I believe. His eyes where pointed to the ground making him almost walk into me. We started walking. “Hey, how was school today, Mikes?” 

He picks his head up from looking down and answered. “It was okay, Dad’s not gonna be happy with me though.” I sighed. “He’s never happy, Mikey.” 

“I know, but he’s gonna punish me today…I fell and I have a hole in my pants now. These are the only pants he lets me wear to school.” I looked down at his pants to see at his knee there was a sort-of big sort-of small hole in the knee. 

“Just act natural…and hope for the best.” Mikey nodded. We made it to the driveway of the house to see another car that we’d never seen before. I got the house key out and we walked in. My father was on the couch with this woman who couldn’t have even been in her 30’s. She had her hair pulled back and loose. She had a tube top on that barely fit and a skirt that was too short. Her black boots where large and had a big heal. On top of all of that she was smoking with her long legs out across my dad and the couch.

Mikey and I walked slowly to our rooms while this woman and our father stared at us. Mikey changed his pants hoping our Dad wouldn’t notice and sat on his bed watching the sun. I wanted to ask my Dad if I could go to Tom’s…but I knew the answer and he seemed busy. 

My Father walked over to our room smiling drinking the beer he had in his hand with the woman near his side, looking into my room. “Boys, don’t come out of your room for a good hour!” He slurred and kissed the cheek of this woman; who was digging her fingers into his jeans. 

“Let’s get going, big boy.” She said finally hearing her voice which was cracked and hoarse. She bit her lip and walked away as my father stared at us. “If anything happen between you 2 in the next hour or so, I will punish both of you!” He slurred a couple of words and heard the woman’s voice again. “Donald…I’m ready.” She said in a different tone as he found his way too her. Mikey and I’s room where connected by a bathroom and before I knew it my little brother was with me. 

“Gerard…I don’t like her, she’s scary.” I nodded. “She is but, maybe she’ll be good to us? You know?” Mikey shook his head. “She’s scary…” 

I nodded once again and patted his head. “Hey, Dad didn’t notice your pants, isn’t that good news?” Mikey turned around back to his room after answering “Yeah, it is.” 

 

*****

Mikey and I had fallen asleep hours later not coming out of our rooms at all. Our Dad never came in to say we could come out and we never had supper either. I had been asleep for awhile until I heard a strange voice near me. I open my eyes to the woman who was looking, staring almost at me. “Hey little boy…what’s your name?” She asked sitting herself on my bed. I rubbed my eyes looking at her and was scared but, answered. “Gerard…” 

She nodded. “That’s one beautiful name…you’re a beautiful boy.” She touched my cheek and smiled a creepy little smile. “We gonna play a little game, okay?” I was shaking and nodded. She began talking again. “Do you have some tape?” I nodded and grabbed some out of my bedside table. “Thank you, Gerard…you’re so sweet.” 

She stuck the tape to my mouth and wrapped it around my wrists and ankles. “Now going to do what I say, okay?” I nodded and my eyes were in fear. She slid my pants and mini boxers down and grabbed my private part. She got on top of me and pushed herself on it. At that age I didn’t know what was happening but, it changed me a lot later on. 

After a while of that she untapped me and left me on the bed not knowing what to do at all. It didn’t sleep the rest of the night. I sat in bed and stared out my window in fear. I got out sketchbook and started drawing what had happened. That night was a bad night and one of my worst. I didn’t know the woman’s name or why she did what she did but I knew it was wrong somehow and I knew it wasn’t good. 

 

This world is full of monsters now ever since the superhero died. When will she ever come back?


	7. Different

April 15th 1986: 

It had been a month or so after that had happened; I didn’t tell a soul. My Dad found Mikey’s pants a day ago and was very pissed at him…he decided that Mikes punishment needed to be something that had to do with the legs. He used a knife and cut the bend in his knee so it’d be hard to walk. It probably needed stitches, because Mikey walked with a limp now; as if his walking couldn’t get any worse.

The teacher had picked up on that and asked him a few question about it. Our Dad told him that if anyone asked he was just playing and fell, like he did when his pants got a hole in them. He was in 1st grade and was already going to the nurse office that gave him an ace band ache. 

We were going home from school that day and I noticed Mikey was acting different. He wasn’t acting like himself anymore. I didn’t understand; things weren’t going well. Mikey walked over to me to go home like he did every day. I asked him the same question as I usually did. “Hey, how was school today?”

“It was okay.” I nodded. “That’s good.” He held his stomach and looked down to the ground as we walked home. My Dad punched him in the stomach yesterday and he was still in pain. It wasn’t that my Dad did nothing to me, but I just never thought back with him. I just did as he told and nothing bad comes out of it…I guess. 

I was going to go to park be myself once we got home. I would always say I was just going for myself, but I met Frank there usually and sometimes Tom; I was meeting Frank today. As soon as Mikey and I was home, I told my father and was gone, hoping his answer was yes. I didn’t hear him very well. 

The park was about 5 houses away from mine and about 7 houses away from Frank’s. It was a perfect. Frank was sitting the swing, waiting for me until I came rushing over to him, sitting next to him. “Hey Gerard; I’ve been here for about 10 minutes, waiting for you!” I nodded. “Sorry, my Dad’s sick again and I couldn’t understand him.” 

“Isn’t your Dad sick every day?” 

“Most days he is, usually it’s just the morning.”

“Oh…why’s he so sick? My Dad’s always fine.” 

“I don’t know…I thought it was normal. It just happens, he told us to leave him alone when that happens…” 

Frank looked down at my arm and pointed at every scar I had. He didn’t know what they were and I didn’t either at time. I had a fresher cut on my arm and a bruise on my right wrist. It was normal to me. Frank didn’t have these marks, he didn’t have a new cut, scratch, or bruise every day…It was normal. All I could think was that Frank’s family was different from normal. I didn’t understand. 

Me and Frank swung on the swings a little more and until the sun was starting to set. Before I left I noticed people coming over to the park. “Gerard wait, come back!” Frank yelled making me pause and walk back. A smaller woman was walking with a taller but not so tall man. Frank ran up to them and gave them a hug. “Mom, Dad this is my best friend Gerard!” Frank yelled looking at the woman. 

She smiled; she had long brown hair with a hazel eye. She had a red t-shirt on and long jeans with her hands in her pockets. She wasn’t like a teacher, she wasn’t like the woman that came in my house a month ago; she was different. She almost looked like some type of superhero; but of course she wasn’t…my superhero was gone and had been gone for years…

“Gerard this is my Mom!” He pointed to her and she smirked. Did every family have a mother and a father; because I obviously didn’t…? Frank’s Mom began to talk looking down at me. “So this is the Gerard you’ve always been talking about. Nice to meet you, Gerard; do you live close here? You and Frank could hang out.” 

I got chills, never hearing that type of voice before, unless it was a teacher. She seemed different from everyone else. She was different from everything else to me. I began to reply back to her “Nice to meet you too, I live 5 houses down…I wish me and Frank could hang out.” Frank nodded. The man next to Frank never talked but, was smiling the whole time.   
“I’ll talk to your parents, someday or drop by, I’m sure that’ll be okay.” She said still smiling. I nodded not knowing what to say. “Well, I got to go Gee, I’ll see you Monday, or maybe sooner!” Frank yelled and ran back to his house while his parents walked slowly behind. 

I walked slowly to my house and sighed. That was too different. Frank’s whole family was just so different from the normal, it was crazy to me. I walked into my house to see my Dad passed out on the couch again. I walked over to Mikey’s bedroom. No Mikey? I walked into mine; still no Mikey. I looked in the kitchen and there was no Mikey. 

I realized then I had missed the bathroom. There he was; he was in the bathtub looking down from his chest to his feet. I walked in sat on the floor beside him. “Hey Mikey, did Dad tell you to take a bath?”

“No.” 

“You just wanted too?”

“I like sitting in the bath tub, alone. I don’t get hurt, I’m safe, and Dad won’t get me and never will if I’m in here.” 

“Mikey, you know you can be alone outside too or in your room.” 

“I know…but there I can’t look at what I’ve done.”

“What do you mean Mikey, you haven’t done anything.”

“Yes, I have. Look at all the shiny white marks on me. It’s all from punishment that I did.” 

“I have that too…You haven’t done anything but learn, okay?” 

“Okay, Gee...”

Mikey got out and put some clothes on telling me one more thing. “Don’t try to talk to Dad when he is sick, gee. I learned my lesson.”  
He walked away slowly with his knees like they always where. Maybe I didn’t understand what he meant but I figured he got punished again. 

*****

It was Saturday afternoon and our door bell rang. This was odd because no one and I mean no one came over to our house; and if someone did they wouldn’t ring the door bell. That doorbell was never ringed before. 

My Dad wasn’t sick today; and walked over to me and Mikey quickly. He said quietly “Go to your room and don’t make a peep, you hear me.” We nodded and ran softly to our rooms. Mikey hid and I just stood there on my bed in my room, listening. 

The doorbell rang again and my Dad answered it. “Hello, are you Mr. Way?” 

“Yes, who are you?” 

“Mrs. Iero. My son is friends with one of yours and I was wondering if sometime we could get them 2 together just to hang out.” 

“Oh really, one of my sons…wow…which one?” 

“Gerard I think his name was.”

“Yes…Yes…Gerard. Did he tell you he lived here?”

“Yes sir, I didn’t think it’d be a problem. Our boys already hang out at the park down there.”

“That’s nice…well uh, Gerard isn’t going to be hanging out with anyone for awhile, and he has a lot of work to do.”

“Oh, I understand! I’ll tell that to Frank.”

“Frank?”

“He’s my son. He’s been dying to met you and see Gerard’s house.”

“Maybe, later…Well, we’re busy over in this house. Come again, later.” My dad said shutting the door at in her face and walking fast to my room. 

“Gerard Arthur Way!!! You are in big trouble!!!” He yelled with his evil eyes and red skin. He grabbed me by my stomach tossed me on the floor. “What I did I tell you to NEVER do?!” I stared up at him in fear and tears forming in my eyes. 

My dad kicked my stomach and ankle. “I said WHAT DID I TELL YOU TO NEVER DO?!” I whimpered “Tell people where we leave or hang out with friends.” 

“Damn it, Gerard, you fucking idiot!” 

“Dad, I didn’t think it was a bad thing.”

“Well you don’t know shit Gerard!” He said hitting me and picking me up by the shirt and clawing my stomach. 

He threw me across the ground as I hit my head against the bedside table. He kicked my chest and even my face once to give me the message. 

“What am I going to have to do to you fucking children, to get you to learn?!”

He gave me a nose bleed and finally left my room smashing a can on the ground. I grabbed my chest that was swelling in pain and began crying hard, wiping the blood off my nose. Mikey was staring at my through the bathroom door but I didn’t care. I was hurt so bad. The next thing I knew Mikey was patting my back and crying with me. Who knew why? 

“I miss Mom.” Mikey said out of nowhere and made me cry harder. “Me too little brother…” He hugged me softly and I hugged him back. He walked away to his room about 5 minutes later as I just sat there in pain. I got out my sketchbook and drew what had just happened. I was mad… this was unfair. The monsters where killing everything good. They were destroying the superhero’s leaving people like me, like this. 

The sun was out, but it wasn’t a good day. It was good to everyone but the good. Now even the sky was evil. I looked at the mirror in my room. I saw myself, my reflection. There where bruises everywhere on me and cuts and scratches everywhere. This was the normal to me. 

Why couldn’t normal be good?


	8. Zoned out

September 26th 1986: 

Everything that was normal to me had happened in the past couple of months. I would get punished or my dad would be sick. I would go to school and now I was in 5th grade. Frank and Tom were too. Mikey was in 2nd grade now and wasn’t doing so well, but he was trying really hard. He didn’t have many friends, maybe 2 or 3 even in 2nd grade. It was a shame. 

Today, we were told we were learning something ‘different’ today. This teacher came in and sent girls to one class and boys to another. My friends and I were with a teacher named ‘Mrs. Hopper’. She had long red hair and brown eyes. Her skirt was passed her knees and her shirt was neatly tucked in, looking like it was one outfit. 

Tom stared and laughed with a couple of his newer friends and then chuckled with me; expect I didn’t know what was so funny. Frank shrugged as he was on the other side of me, not knowing either. “Hello, boys; I’m Mrs. Hopper. I’m here today to teach you about the real world; beside the work. I’m here to tell you about alcohol, drugs, and stuff that can happen from that. You as boys aren’t embarrassed to talk about this stuff so, that’s why I like teaching the guys it. More fun to me.”

The class was silent as the teacher was talking expect for Tom who was being himself and somehow making a joke about this. “Does anyone want to give me a definition for the word, alcohol?” 

A boy in the back of the classroom raised his hand and said “a drink.” 

“Well, that’s right in a way. Alcohol isn’t just a drink though, it’s a like a drug that does nothing but bad in your body.” 

She checked had photos in a book to show us. “These are what they look like…Beer, Vodka, Whiskey; none of them are good for you.” I saw all the photos and noticed how my Dad had all of them… we had all of that in the fridge. 

“Now maybe, one drink or two every so offend is okay, I guess. It’s better not to drink at all. If you too much and you need it more than anything…then you’re an alcoholic. Nothing good comes from that. That can cause rape, abuse, and so much more.”

A kid in the back raised his hand and asked “What is rape?” 

“Rape is when someone forces another person into having sex without them wanting it.” We all already had our Sex ED class knew what sex was, but they never talked about rape; and from the looks of it and what I remembered from months ago… I thought I had been raped. The teacher kept talking and I was zoned out and only heard her talk in the background of my head. 

I started listening again, trying to not remember that horrible night. “Some people are horrible after drinking and while drinking. They’ll do alcoholic abuse. This means, say a father has been drinking and beats his wife or children in anyway, its abuse. This person could cuss at you and make you feel down. That’s abuse too.”

I had to zone out again. My Dad drank…he beat us as punishment…was I in abuse? No…this is the real world and she is telling us what is supposed to happen. It’s not supposed to be good…I’m in a normal life. Frank’s family isn’t normal, mine is. It’s not fun and games, it’s all about learning. 

I kept talking inside my head and before I knew it the teacher was leaving the classroom. “Gerard…Gerard…Hello, anyone home?” Tom and Frank were staring at me while Tom said that. I shook my head getting back into reality. “Yes?” 

“You’ve been zoned out for about an hour, are you okay?” Frank asked and touched my shoulder softly; looking down his hand touching me. “I’m fine…Is school over?” 

“Yeah.” Tom said walking away after his new friend named Travis asked him too. Frank looked at me. “Do you have anything to say?” Frank asked taking his hand off me slowly and looked at my eyes. “Yea- I mean no…no I’m fine. I got to get Mikey. I’ll see ya tomorrow!” I got up and walked to where I and Mikey met. Mikey was standing there waiting for me in his blue jacket. He was…talking to someone? I never met or even saw Mikey talking anyone. This was a guy that was way tall for his age. He was wearing plaid and had short cut brown hair and green eyes that lit his face up. 

He had long jeans on and boots. He was not from New Jersey. I walked up to them and said hey to Mikey. “Gerard, this is Sam, Sam this is Gerard my brother.” 

“Hi.”

He said and said bye to Mikey, walking away to an even taller boy who was wearing almost the same thing as him. “How was school today, Mikey?” He smiled for once and pointed over to the boy named Sam. “That’s Sam Winchester, he is normal like me!” I looked down at Mikey not quite understanding him. “What do you mean he is normal like you?”   
“He understands me and he is like me and he’s my best friend and I’m his!” I nodded. “That’s great Mikey.” 

Mikey turned his head to look at me and asked “What about you Gerard?” I laughed a little, not really know why. “It was okay…I learned a lot…” I said almost in sarcasm but Mikey would never know. We walked home and open the door. Our Dad was in the den with a beer in his hand looking at us and then flipping us the finger and laughing. 

We walked away to our room like every day. I looked out the window, the clouds were black or grey which I knew now it meant it was going to rain. That’s how I felt on the inside too. I was going to explode. I drew what I learned that day in sketchbook and looked out my door to see my Dad hitting glass on the floor yelling at us to pick it up. 

 

No hero was here yet to save me.


	9. Adventure outdoors

May 11th, 1990:

It’d been 4 years; since that day; nothing super had happened. It was still the same and I was 14 years old now and Mikey was 10. You would think we’d be freer as we got older but, the fact was we were less free. My Father was more evil than ever. My 5 year old self was still screaming and trying to break free. 

Mikey didn’t talk much anymore. We knew what was going on now. We knew what had happened and was happening. Where we going to admit it? No, we didn’t at that time. Mikey was almost a new person after being with this monster his whole life. 

Mikey some things wrong with him that if he’d go to a doctor, he’d be having a lot of medications I think. My Dad says he’s fine…I think differently. 

We weren’t at school today, it was a day off. Our Dad was having a hangover and didn’t notice us that day. So basically me and Mikey had to do a lot of crap if he saw us or even remembered we were in the house. “Gerard…I’m going out.” 

“You’re what?” 

“I’m going out Dad will never know, he has a hangover.” 

“I wouldn’t do that Mikey…What if he finds out?”

“What he’ll give me another scar to match those others?” He frowned saying looking down at his huge one on the top of his hand. 

“Mikey don’t say that...This is our life…its normal.” Mikey looked at me and opened our window of our 1 story house. He hopped out and shut the window behind him. I sighed and heard my father call for me. This was normal.

*****

This was the first time Mikey was rebel and got away from the house and I wasn’t there but, he told me what had happened. Mikey went Sam Winchester’s house. Sam Winchester was his only friend. Mikey didn’t talk much expect when it came to Sam. They were close; it was almost like Sam was his 2nd brother. They just connected. 

Mikey had never seen his house but when he did he realized it was barely a house. It was more like a hotel or apartment; it was very tiny. Mikey didn’t really know the rest of family but, Sam told him that his Dad, John, wouldn’t be there that day. Mikey decided that was going to be the day he finally would see Sam out of school. 

He knocked on the door and no one answered. So he walked around the house to the window and which it happened to be open. Mikey was quiet and walked look around only hearing small noises that where something he’d never heard before. He opened a door and saw Sam; at least the back of Sam’s head. He had his arms around a taller boy with no shirt on and jeans. They were… kissing? 

“Sam…?” Mikey said out of the silence and the 2 boys poked their heads out to see him. “Mikey!!!” he yelled and pushed the other boy away. “What the hell are you doing here?! How the hell did you get in here?!” 

“The window was open… What where you doing…? Who’s that?” Sam closed his eyes and the other boy talked. “I’m Dean…Sam’s brother.” Sam run to Mikey and pushed him outside. “What was going on?” Mikey asked looking at Sam like he was crazy. 

“It’s not what it looked like…well sort-of…anyway, why are you here?” Mikey shook his head. “I wanted to see your place. It’s very cool if you ask me!” Sam eyebrows frowned not knowing why. “It’s cool? Mikey did you look at it right? It’s not even clean.” 

“That’s not clean?! That’s cleaner than my house when it is clean.” Sam sighed almost. “Wow…I would have never thought that anyone’s house could get dirtier than mine but I was wrong.” 

They laughed and Sam starting talking again. “So why’d you pick today Mikes?” 

“You said your Dad wouldn’t be home today and he said you’d be alone.” 

“Oh yeah…he’s working…”

“What does your Dad’s job?”

“He…” Sam looked at the window behind them to see Dean and turned back to answer me. “He hunts…He goes hunting. What about you’re Dad?”

Mikey shrugged. “He somehow gets money…I never see him leave the house.” He paused and began again. “And when he’s at the house I don’t want to see him.” His eyes turned to face the ground as he kicked some pebbles with his old worn out shoe.

“Same here…” Sam said out of the silence and put his pants in his pocket. “What? I thought you liked your Dad.” Sam shook his head and laughed a little. “No…I don’t…Dean’s...Dean’s like a father to me in a way. He’s 14 you know.” 

“You seemed like more than a father from what I saw.” Sam punched Mikey’s shoulder as Mikey laughed. “Anyway… My Dad treats me and Dean like crap…He wants us to join the family business and that’s all he’s done our whole life.” Sam wasn’t looking at Mikey but seemed to be zoned out into his own world, remembering the old days. He looked down at the top of his hand where there was a big white scar and rubbed it. Mikey looked down at his and saw the same thing; although they were different but they were both white shiny scars.

“I hate my Dad.” Mikey said as he looked at his and Sam’s scars. “I hate mine too.” Sam said looking at his best friend. “Did he do…?” he said and Mikey cut him off. “Yes, when I was 2…” Sam frowned. “My Father wasn’t as hard on me as he was on Dean…but this was one time where he was…” He pointed at his hand again and stood up. 

“I don’t when my Dad’s getting home but…I know you doesn’t want to meet you. You should go.” Sam frowned as saying that. I nodded. “I know how you feel.” Sam nodded and smiled knowing he wasn’t alone. Sam opened the door and Dean was there. “Let’s go make some pie…you know I love it.” 

Mikey rolled his eyes and saw Sam blushed going back inside. Mikey walked all the way home and realized the window was locked. “Shit…” he mumbled and opened the front door quietly. “Where’ve you been, boy?” 

Mikey panicked and said “Out…Outside.” My Dad laughed and stood up. “Come here, you fucking idiot.” 

Mikey walked near him slowly and got wiped backwards by a punch. Other things happened that Mikey never told me but, a broken leg doesn’t come out of nowhere.


	10. Should have/Could have

February 12th, 1992:

Maybe these past years had been the worst out of all. Mikey didn’t talk basically to anyone anymore. He would sit in his room and do nothing but sleep or lay there. He looked dull and with almost no emotion now. His eyes almost never went up; they were always straight to the ground.

He was like a turtle living in its shell. He wore jackets in the summer with long jeans. He didn’t like seeing himself. He wore beanies or hat to cover his hair and sometimes face. His face was scared like the rest of his body after the last month or so. Our Dad whipped him with a belt hitting him in the eye and a deep cut over it. 

My father did that when Mikey said he hated him. I never got the nerve to say that to his face and I never would. My Father didn’t say he hated him back; he never would. 

Sam and his brother Dean moved out of Jersey for awhile; they had left without a goodbye. It hit Mikey hard as he was his only friend. After that Mikey had no one; at all. I was his only friend. I didn’t have Tom anymore, either, but Frank always kept me; no matter what. Tom’s new best friend was Mark Hoppus. Mark was a new kid and came soon after the Winchester’s left. 

Mark was just like Tom and Tom soon forgot about me. That was okay though, I still had my true best friend. Frank was always by my side and did everything for me, even without asking. I always just guessed it was because he cared that much.

We were at school that day. Mikey and I were now at the same school…it was the reason I knew all of this was going on. It was lunch time and Mikey sat down at table by himself. I couldn’t sit with him, I wasn’t in that lunch; I saw this while I was going to class, ending up being late…very late.

A boy yells his name. This boy was tall and looked like a true punk, I later found out it was a guy named Travis. He yelled my brother’s name, making him turn and look. I wanted to scream and say “It’s a trap!” but, I was too late. 2 guys came up behind him while he was faced the other way pouring milk down his jacket and smashing mashed potatoes into his hair.

The whole seemed to be staring at him. He looked up to face them and ran out. So, I followed. He didn’t run fast because of his knee and pigeon toed feet. He ran into the bathroom that no one usually went in. It was far away from everything and wasn’t cleaned offend. 

I walked in slowly and saw Mikey taking off his shirt and jacket splashing water on his face and chest. He looked himself with teary eyes. He didn’t notice me yet, being zoned out at himself. He put his hand over his mouth and screamed into it closing his eyes and dropping his knees to the ground. He stopped and had me staring with disbelief at this angry and sadness he had. 

It was silent and as I walked near him I heard my footsteps echo. I looked down at him, and sighed. “How long has this been going on?”   
I heard water from the sink fall randomly, that happened in this school. Mikey looked up at me with red eyes that were shining. He didn’t answer my question but just sat there. “Mikey, how long has this been going on? You gotta talk to me.” 

Mikey splashed his face again, standing up. He says quietly “Gerard, I’m fine…” He got his shirt and jacket back on and put the hood on his head. “No you’re not mikey! Why the hell are they doing that to you?” 

Mikey looked at me and answered. “Why wouldn’t they be? Look at me, what do you see that they don’t?” 

“You look normal Mikey!” 

“No Gerard! I don’t look normal! I’m anything but normal! I see it. Our life’s not normal, Gerard.” 

“Yes, it is. I’ve know it. Everyone else is just different.” 

“You’ll never understand…” Mikey said running away going out the door of the school. He was skipping and I never knew where he went. I went back to class going to ISS right after for being so late. Maybe Mikey and I would both be punished that night. It’d be normal. 

I walked out of ISS at the end of the day and Frank was waiting for me. “Frank?? How long have you been here?” He looked at his watch. “30 minutes.”

He smiled and walked off with me to my locker. “How’d you get ISS?” Frank asked me holding my books while got my locker opened. “I was late for class, no big deal.” 

“Oh, that sucks…hey Gerard; I want to tell you something later okay?” He shuffled back and looked at me waiting for an answer. “Okay..? I got to go or my Dad will kill me. See you tomorrow.” 

Frank looked at me and sighed. “Bye Gee.” I walked off. Frank was acting strange; I wondered what was going on. I started walking home it was normal. My Dad was on the couch and I was coming home usually with Mikey but not today. I walked into my room and Mikey’s room door was closed. He was in there. 

I knocked at on his door and heard him move in his bed. Opening the door I see the back of Mikey’s head in bed as usual. “Mikey?” I asked. “Leave me alone.” He whispered, throwing a pillow at me. I walked over to him and looked closer. There was blood on his sheets one in a huge spot and little drops everywhere. “Mikey, What happened?!”   
“I said leave me alone Gerard! If you want to know what happened, ask our fucking Dad. Tell him to kiss my ass!” 

For the first time, I felt like I should go and talk to him. So, I wouldn’t be scared anymore but I didn’t and later on I wish I had. I looked around and noticed that a lot of things in his room where on the floor and some were broken. Only blood was on the bed though and it only was in one spot really. 

People called me smart, but I didn’t realize what had happened until I remember my past. I saw duct tape on the floor and realized what had happened. I looked down at Mikey and said 2 words. “I’m sorry.” 

Mikey looked up with bruise on his face with his blood red eyes. “What…What…but you didn’t do anything?” I sighed and walked to the doorway and before shutting it behind me I answered him. “Exactly…”

I knew if I had followed Mikey this wouldn’t have happened and I would have saved him. I would be the new superhero. But, I didn’t…

I went into my room and found my old sketchbook and looked at the drawing I had done on March 13th 1986. I was a good artist even back then and I could tell what had happened and it was the same as Mikey’s expect…he fought back. He wasn’t scared.

Mikey was raped; raped by my own father.


	11. Run!

February 13th, 1982: 

It been a day since that event happened and Mikey hadn’t said a word to me about it. I could only assume, but I knew I was right. Our father was worse than usual this month. He was rude and mad; not like he wasn’t before but, he was just punishing us for nothing. He kicked my ass (literally) for getting his way. He pushed me over because…he felt like it.   
He was pissed at me and my brother. Mikey had been through a lot that month. He wouldn’t admit it but he didn’t have any friends and so getting bullied the shit out of; the worst part was that I couldn’t do anything about it. 

He had that plus our father, and plus him just being him. Mikey had been pretty anti-social ever since he was born. We were at school that day, as every day. I just hoped that if today wasn’t better for him that the next day would. The next day wasn’t better any day later, but I was always hoping.

Frank and I were walking to class in the morning before school started. He wanted to tell me something; but I wasn’t going to remind him. It could have been something bad and I didn’t want any bad news. Frank talked and talked to me not saying a word about it. 

We walked past 4 girls. I only noticed because one of them winked at me giving me a feeling that I had felt a long time before. It wasn’t a hate feeling, or a love. It was an almost scared feeling, like it was dangerous. As Frank and I walked on she followed behind us and I was nearly running. Frank stopped me. “Are you okay, Gerard?” He asked making us walk slower but walking again. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I said looking at him cooling down. He nodded and started talking again. “So Gee…I wanted to tell you and maybe ask you something...” I nodded and was cut off by the girl that was following us. “Hey, Gerard…that’s your name right?” 

“Yeah, why do you ask??”

“I just wanted to know your name before I do this.” And before I could say ‘do what’ her lips were on mine and I wanted to puke. What the fuck was that? I reacted back by getting away. She laughed and ran to her friends yelling “I told you he was gay!” 

It dawned on me then that I never look at girls like most guys. They were almost scary to me. My Mother had died, my Dad was always brought home whores and that was even when I was young. I never thought of men to be cute though. They were there and women were there. I just never thought about it. 

Frank was standing there staring. “Gerard?” Frank asked and touched my shoulder, getting me out of the zone I was in. “Yeah…sorry…I don’t know her…I don’t know what the fuck it was about…” 

Frank nodded. “So, what were you gonna tell me?” 

“Oh…nothing…” He said sighing and hearing the bell. “I got to go to class…see you later!” He yelled almost running there. I walked the other way as my class was over there, seeing my brother walking down the other way. I happened to look at him at the right time as Tom’s best friend Mark tripped him, making him drop his books and fall on his face. He looked up and saw Mark laughing and going up to Tom. Was Tom part of this?

I went up to my brother and tried helping him up. He looked at me getting up and walking to class. Not saying a word but knowing he thanked me. 

*****  
It was the end of the school day and I was making my way down to the area where I waited for Mikey. I saw Tom and Mark with the guy named Travis walking down the hallway pointing at a guy; I realized that wasn’t just a guy. That was Mikey. 

Tom, Mark and Travis went around him as Travis pushed on the ground and a crowd formed around them in a circle. I rushed over and started hearing what they were saying. “Are you gonna fight back you pussy?” Travis said while Mikey stood up trying to get out of the way of they, but got pushed back by Mark. 

“You aren’t going anywhere you stupid fuck.” Mark said and grabbed him by the jacket pulling him up. Tom stared at Mikey and looked at the ground. I knew Tom was a good person and would never hurt anyone. He knew Mikey…he wouldn’t hurt him; would he? 

“Let me go!” He yelled trying to get away. Mark let him go quickly making him fall on the floor. “What the fuck’s your problem?” He shouted on the ground. He didn’t talk much but if he was mad he yelled. Mark and Travis laughed. “Look the pussies talking.” Travis said laughing making Mark laugh more. Mikey stood up. “I can talk, just let me go. I’ve done nothing to you.” 

Mark laughed and so did Travis letting him go. Mark looked at Tom and pushed him over to Mikey. Tom stopped him and sighed, saying something quietly to him and staring at him. Tom hit him the stomach making him cough and cough. 

I ran over to Tom and without even knowing I was punching him in the face and throwing him into the wall. “Get the fuck off my brother!!!” I yelled grabbing Mikey and holding him back. Tom ran off and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. Mark had hit me. I kicked him in the balls and ran. “You faggot!!!” Mark yelled as I ran with Mikey.   
Mikey and I ran all the way home getting to the house and seeing our Dad passed out on the floor.

Damn it.


	12. Attack!!!

February 27th, 1992:

Our Dad had passed out a couple days back. Mikey and I actually thought about not doing anything about it. Mikey actually didn’t; I did. I dragged him into his room and at least he’d wake up in there and not the den floor. We were never allowed in there so he wouldn’t blame us for it; he’d try but he couldn’t. 

Mikey was being himself and not talking and staying in bed all day doing nothing. I tried talking to him but I got nothing. He didn’t say a peep. 

He was depressed. I knew it; and I was myself in some way, but he acted different with it. He didn’t really know what to do; I assumed that was his problem. He didn’t go to school some days because he just couldn’t get out of bed. 

Some days he wouldn’t go to school because of being afraid of someone or anything. Mikey was sick and my father didn’t see it. I did and I wanted to do something about it. I later wish I had. 

My Dad was passed out again in his bed this time waking up in a pissed mood. “What the fuck am I doing here?” he yelled down to us as he was getting up, only wearing boxers. 

“This home is ours, you live here.” I yelled. He walked to me. “Don’t be a smartass; no one likes a smartass.” He said and rolled his eyes. It was silent for a moment and then we hear the voice of my brother; we didn’t hear it much. “Yeah, no one likes a smartass, Dad.” 

It was silent again with footsteps going into his room; not only mine but my Dad’s too. “You’re alive!” I yelled as he rolled his eyes. Our father marched in angry and done with my joke. “What the fuck did you just say boy?” 

“Yeah Dad, no one likes a smartass.” Mikey repeated still lying in bed. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” He yelled. 

“It means you’re a smartass and no one likes you, you stupid fuck.” Mikey said making my jaw drop and all I wanted to do was grab Mikey and run. My Dad picked Mikey up out of the bed and hanged him by the shirt. “You want to say that again, Michael?” 

“No one likes you, you stupid fuck.” He yelled and was dropped to the ground and kicked in the stomach. “Son of a bitch” Mikey slurred out and got kicked again. “No son of mine is going to talk to me like that.” Mikey stared at the ground and looked up at him. “I can say whatever the fuck I want to, Donald.” I wanted to jump and save Mikey because he must have been going crazy. He was fighting back. 

Mikey stood up and our Dad’s eyes were almost red. “No you fucking can’t mister! This is my house and you’re my son, damn it! You go by my rules, you know this. I’m going to kick you’re fucking ass Michael. You need to be punished.” Mikey turned and chuckled almost. He moved his arm out and out of nowhere he punched my Dad square in the chest with force, making him fall backwards in shock. 

“Fuck you, you bastard!” Mikey yelled and flipped his finger out. My Dad was in shock and was sitting on the floor staring up at him. “You can’t control me Donald! I’m done with it; you know if you had died instead of Mom, I’d be fucking happy!” 

Our Dad run up and hit Mikey in the chin and started beating the crap out of him and until Mikey was done with talking. Our Dad left Mikey on the ground bloody and all. I walked over to him staring at him. “What the hell was that Mikey, you could have gotten killed.” 

“Gerard, I’m done! I’m done with him and everything!” He yelled and burst into tears. I was in shock and went down to hug him. “You know Mom said she’d always fucking be here! You know what, she’s not, she’ll never be and we’re fucking screwed for life!” 

“I’m here Mikey…We’ll be okay…” 

“You don’t understand Gerard! You never do!”

I sighed and left him alone walking into my room and going out the window to walk outside. I could walk around the neighborhood usually without even being notice that I was gone. I liked watching the cars go by the people walking down the street with children or just 2 people in love. 

Today was different than many of the days; Frank was out. Frank was almost never outside and I decided to walk over to him. He was sitting outside on his pouch; and that wasn’t far away at all. Frank saw me and was almost in shook. “Gerard, what are you doing?” He asked me as I sat down next to him. 

“I saw you out here; you’re never outside so I’m sitting with you.” Frank smiled a bit and sighed. “I miss this.” Frank said and I nodded. “Hey Frank…awhile back…you had something to tell me…are you ever going to tell it?” 

Frank looked down at his knees and said something…but I didn’t hear it. “What did you say?” I asked. 

“I love you Gerard.” He said and looked up at me.

“I love you too Frank, you’re my best friend.” Frank sighed. “No Gerard…I really love you…more than a friend.” I stared at him and he stared at me. I didn’t know what to do or say. Frank was my best friend what was I supposed to do what and what he was supposed to do; and then I was answered. 

Frank’s lips were pressed on mine and for the first time I was not scared. My heart was beating right and I didn’t go back. I kissed him back and we stared at each other again. Frank put his hand on mine and I smiled. Was I happy?? I don’t think I had ever felt happy…or at least ever since my Mom died. 

We didn’t know what to say or what to do but I walked away knowing that I’d be happy with him. I could be happy with him. 

I walked back to my house and in the window to hear a loud crash. I ran to it and saw glass on the floor with Mikey in it. He was trying to get up and go to my Father but I held him back. “Mikey, it’s okay; it’s okay.” 

He was crying and kicking and trying to get out of my grip! “Get the fuck off me!!! I want to fucking kill him!!! Let me go!!!” I carried him into my room and laid him down in my bed until I knew he was calm, or at calmer. I stroked his hair back and sat by him until he stopped was just breathing. My door was locked; I wasn’t letting the bastard in.   
Mikey needed help and no one would give him it and I didn’t know how. I wished I had known how later on. It would have helped a lot.


	13. Happy maybe not

March 8th, 1992: 

Mikey was pretty much done. He hadn’t gone to school since that day he hadn’t gotten out of bed unless he was going to bathroom or taking a shower. I even had to give him food, because he wouldn’t get up and eat. He wasn’t himself. 

Our Father didn’t care. “Dad, why aren’t you doing anything about him?” I would say. My Dad would laugh and that day he told me the truth. “For fuck’s sake son, if he wants to be a depressed fuck well then let him be. I don’t care about him anyway; if he dies no fucks of mine will be given.” 

I sighed and never fought back; although on the inside I wanted kill him saying that. I walked outside that day and did what always did. Look at the cars go by or people walking. 2 people with plaid on were walking down the side of my neighborhood. I couldn’t help but to think I knew them, but I didn’t know from where. 

And then it hit me.

It was Sam and Dean Winchester. They were looking up and down with some sort of thing that blinked in their hands until one of them spotted me. “Gerard?? Gerard Way??” He said running over to me. “Yes??” 

“It’s me Sam!!! Is Mikey here?” He asked and as soon as I nodded he ran to the window; jumping into my house. That might have been rude to most people but to me, that was just fine. I followed him into the house and soon Dean was behind me. Dean and I didn’t talk much but he had an idea to spy on them; which I liked. 

There was a tiny hole in my door in the bathroom that connected me and Mikey’s rooms. Dean and I decided to look through it. Later I wish I hadn’t and Dean well…he couldn’t complain. 

Mikey and Sam were chatting and I could hear what they were saying. I thought they were just best friends but apparently they were more. Sam kissed Mikey and before me and Dean knew it they were making out on the ground. They were acting like dogs. 

Soon clothes where everywhere and action was going on. I took my eye off the hole rather Dean kept his; such an animal. I didn’t have to see it to know what was going on and I could hear it loud and clear. Once that was over with and began to watch again. 

They were talking and almost crying into each other. “Sam…I missed you.” Mikey said quietly and Sam said the same. There were more quiet talks that I couldn’t make out but they seemed to be serious. They started getting up and getting into Mikey’s bed, not doing anything but talk. Dean and I kept watching until they were both…asleep? 

Dean stayed in my room and talked to me that night. I never realized how close you could get to person just talking to them in a night. It seemed like I had known him for months. 

Dean told me about why they were there but I didn’t understand or really believe. They were hunting for a demon or monster. I had lived with a monster my whole life and no one had hunted him; how could I believe that. 

It started raining outside out of nowhere. I didn’t even see the dark clouds come in; but they did. Dean was asleep on the floor and I was wide awake. I walked into the bathroom and looked through the hole to see Mikey smiling looking at Sam. He was actually happy with Sam. 

I took out my sketchbook although I hadn’t in awhile. I drew what had been going on through the past months. I drew Mikey happy for once. It was good for him to happy. 

I got into bed and tried to fall asleep but was awaken by a person next to me rubbing my arm. I looked over with big eyes to see Dean. “Glad you’re awake now, angel.” Dean said and fixed my hair. I didn’t speak and didn’t move. Dean looked at me with sharp eyes and smiled. “Why’d you call me-…” and before I could finish my sentence Dean’s finger was over my mouth as he said “Ssh.” 

He took his finger off my lips and kissed me. I didn’t know what to do; I was guessing Frank was my boyfriend so now what. He kept kissing me and I was kissing back because I didn’t know what else to do. I was feeling guilty. 

Dean was touching and grabbing me while I just kissed him back not wanting even that. Dean started grabbing at my pants; which I took as a running point. I pushed back to only get pushed on the floor with a 200 pound man on me. 

He was kissing at me and his hands were wrapped around my pants. I was trying my best to get away but this man was strong. He had muscle and was talking to me. I didn’t know what to do.

I felt Dean’s hand slowly go down my pants feeling at my boxers. That was not happening. I started saying ‘stop’ over and over again but he wasn’t listening. His hand was going into the boxers and started cupping my balls. 

His hand inched its way up to my cock and started rubbing it. “You like that don’t you, angel.” He said brightly as didn’t reply and kept trying to get away. He undid my pants and took them off along with my boxers. He kissed me and rubbed my cock.

He pushed and rolled me over onto my stomach and unzipped his pants pulling out his cock. He started to put his fingers into my anus and was about to scream. After that, he starts putting in his cock in making me bite on my fingers trying to get rid of the pain. I wanted to get out but I didn’t know how, I was hoping someone would wake up and see but no one did. 

He stopped and left me on the floor. I got up and went to the bathroom. My anus was bleeding a lot and I just yelled, right there; right then.

I got into my bed and surprisingly I didn’t wake anyone. I was scared. I had been raped, again.


	14. Nothing gold can stay

March 10th, 1992: 

It been 2 days since the event…the event that I hoped would never happen again. The event that damaged me and broke me; I was like a person with OCD. I didn’t want people to touch me or look at me, like they’d know what happened.

And then I understood something I’d be trying to figure out for awhile. This is how my little brother acts. He covers every inch of his body and doesn’t like to be touched. He takes showers a lot and doesn’t like speaking. I couldn’t turn into that…I couldn’t. 

I still talked to Dean...or I should say he talked to me. I hated him but, I could never hate his brother. Sam was so helping to my brother. My brother always said Sam made him happy and was the only person that understood him. This was the one time I believed him. 

I was at school that day with my best friend and I guessed boyfriend now Frank. He held my hand down the hall and I felt like I was going to panic. I didn’t want to be touched but Frank didn’t know that. It was a Monday. 

I didn’t think I’d tell him; I’d just keep walking and hoped it’d stop. But it never did and Frank knew something was wrong. He asked me at the end of the day about it. “Gerard, what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean, Frank? I’m fine…”

“No you’re not, Gerard. You haven’t talked to me all day, literally.”

“Really…I didn’t?”

He nodded and continued to talk. “You’ve been in your head all day.”

“I’m sorry…I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay; just tell me what the hell is wrong?”

“It’s nothing Frank…I got to go.”

“Gerard, tell me!!!” 

I looked at him and sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it right now Frank…”

Frank nodded. “When will you?” I shrugged and kissed him quickly walking away to were Mikey and I met. I waited 15 minutes; no Mikey. I waited 30 more minutes; no Mikey.

I looked around and decided to walk on, he waited too long. I walked all the way home alone and saw that our Dad’s car was not there. This was odd. Mikey’s window was open, which meant he was home. 

I went through the front door and ran into Mikey’s room almost yelling until I saw him with Sam, crying. Mikey was crying into his chest and Sam was patting his back. I thought about saying something but Sam shook his head and put his finger over his lip. 

Nodding I walked into my room and looked out the window. Mikey never cried in front of people and I sure had never seen him cry in front of Sam. There was something big wrong and I wanted to know what. But, I didn’t want to know right then.

I saw my Dad’s truck come in and didn’t think about Sam being here. Our Dad came through the door and didn’t say a word. I went into the bathroom were my father wouldn’t bothered me but later, I wish he had; instead of my brother. 

I looked through the hole in the bathroom to see Mikey and Sam kissing each other over and over again. Mikey’s face was still red but was smiling now and so was Sam; until my Dad came in…Dad dropped everything in his hands and Mikey and Sam finally noticed. I slurred looking through the hole in the wall ‘Shit!’ Sam and Mikey starred at my Father that was staring at them. 

Sam was the first to move; or I should say talk. “Hi Mr. Way…” 

“I raised a fucking f-faggot!” Our Father yelled. “Hey don’t call him a faggot!!!” Sam yelled and was the first person ever to defend Mikey. “I’ll call him whatever I want you other faggot.” Sam shook his head. “You not while I’m here.” 

“Well, maybe you should get out of my damn house before I call the cops on your little faggot ass.” 

Sam held his breath and stood up; not to leave but to get close to Mr. Way. “I said get out of my house fag.” 

Sam looked at him and sighed. “How are you going to make me?” Our father got mad and knew that if he hit him he’d call the cops on my father but, if he stayed my father had no control. But my Father was smart and knew something Sam didn’t. 

Our Dad smiled and looked at Sam. “Are you going to leave now, fag?” Mikey looked at Sam but Sam didn’t look at him. “Leave Sam, go! Go Sam! Sam, do not stay!!! Go!!”   
Sam answers our father. “I’m not going anywhere; no one deserves what you’ve done to him! Yes, I know what you’ve done! Mikey told me today! You’re dead!” 

Our father laughed. “Sam run, run now! GO! Damn it Sam go!” Mikey yelled and Sam blows a kiss to Mikey. 

Our Father stabbed him in the chest and Mikey’s love fell to the ground. Mikey froze and our dad walked to the phone. I walked into Mikey’s room and saw Mikey standing in stock looking at him. He fell to his knees and saw Sam’s blood all over the floor and his chest. Mikey picked him up and cried getting blood on his shirt. “Damn it Sam! Damn it you should have just gone. Oh Sam…Oh God…I loved you…”

I looked at Mikey and he looked up “Get the fuck away!” He screamed. Our Father came in and began to talk to us. “I called the cops. We’re saying Sam broke into our house; so I killed him; simple as. Mikey get a different shirt on; they’ll be here soon.” 

“No!!! I’m not leaving him!!!” Mikey screamed with tears rolling down his eyes. “You’ll do what I say young man!!” Our father yelled. I looked at Mikey as he held Sam in his hands crying harder than I thought possible. “Michael James Way you get the fuck off him!!!” 

“I SAID NO YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!! YOU KILLED THE FUCKING LOVE OF MY FUCKING LIFE YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!” Mikey yelled grabbing onto Sam still; yelling more at our father. “Gerard, grab your fucking brother and leave this damn house before the cops come.” 

I didn’t argue or anything. I started grabbing Mikey sadly as he didn’t want to let go. “GET THE FUCK OFF ME!!! GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE!!!” He yelled as I got him out of grip with Sam. “NO! LET ME GO! SAM COMES BACK TO ME!!! NO!!” 

I walked with Mikey out the door with a new shirt and down to the forest; a place I went to calm him down when he was younger. Mikey was crying into me as we went and yelling more and more. I sat him down on the ground and he tried to run away again. “WHY DIDN’T YOU FIGHT BACK? WHY GERARD? WHY DIDN’T YOU STAY AND LET THE COPS ARREST HIM?” 

I sighed. Mikey kept crying into me and I didn’t say a word. It’d been hours until he stopped crying. He just sat there and finally got a different shirt on. “Gerard...why aren’t you talking...?”

“I can’t Mikey…I can’t talk…My brother’s broken. I’m sorry…” 

“Gerard…can you just fight back next time…okay?”

“Why are you asking me this?”

“Just do, Gerard!!!” 

“Okay…” I said not sure if I was going to or not or what he meant by that. Me and Mikey didn’t know when to go back so we were gonna stay for a couple more hours or so. Maybe this was or the best.


	15. Broken

March 11th, 1992:

Mikey and I were finding our way back home, really late at night. It didn’t take too long to find though; the 5 cop cars were easy to spot with their flashing and spinning lights. A news van was there with camera’s in all in front of our old moldy house talking about was ha happened. Mikey and I walked slowly getting closer and closer into to the house seeing more and more things. There was a person’s car outside the house…it seemed kind-of familiar.

We walked more on and finally got to the door of the house were officers were standing, staring at us like a bunch of non-normal teenagers. “Where do you think you’re going?” The cop asks us. It was a male cop with his uniform on and was on the higher end of the scale. He was scaring looking just being him and his eyes were sharp to us.  
“This is our home…” Mikey said in a whisper; the cop didn’t hear him. “What’d you say? I can’t hear you.” I talked for him knowing that Mikey couldn’t talk any louder with all that had happened. “This is our home officer.” 

“You’re the kids?” Mikey and I nodded and he let us in to see our father. I held Mikey back knowing that if Mikey saw his face he’d be on him in 10 seconds flat. Our Father was talking to the police and as soon as we came in he looked at us half sighted, telling us that if we didn’t lie, he was going to do something. 

One officer stayed with my father one took Mikey and I to another room. “Hello boys.” He said to us sitting us down with a notebook in his hand. We didn’t say anything back and knew what was going on. We had to say our side of the story and I didn’t know if Mikey was going to lie or not to be honest. 

“So, I got you guys in here because, I want to know what you guys were doing when this burley happened.” He looked at me first waiting for me to answer. Mikey looked at me waiting for me to tell the truth like he said...but I began to lie too scared for the truth. 

“Our Father came home and I went into the bathroom…there’s a hole in the door so I could see everything. The window was open and this man was with Mikey. Mikey was scared it seemed and at some point or another Dad came home. The next thing I know the man’s on the floor with blood everywhere.” 

The officer nodded and kept on writing. He looked up to Mikey who was giving me a sad look, an almost disappointed look. The officer finally spoke “Are you Mikey?” 

My brother nodded and kept his mouth shut. “What’s your side of the story?” Mikey sighed and talked quietly but loud enough to be able to hear. 

“What Gerard said was true, nothing else to say.” 

“Did the man hurt you in anyway?”

“No.” Mikey said making his voice crack. The officer looked at us both and was about to say something else until we hear a loud voice; a voice I had heard before, screaming from outside. 

The officer runs out to the boy who was very tall; and in that second I realized who it was. Dean Winchester. 

“THIS IS AN OUTRAGE. MIKEY YOU SON OF A BITCH; I TRUSTED YOU WITH HIM! MY FUCKING BROTHER’S DEAD, LET ME IN THERE YOU BASTARDS.” Cops were holding him back and telling him to calm down. The cop with us turns to Mikey and me. “You know him?” he asked. 

Before Mikey could say yes, replaced it with a lie giving a no because if he had said yes our story would be a fake…although Mikey wanted that, I was too scared to let him. I didn’t want him to get hurt by our Father or even killed…

Mikey sighed and sat down even if he was scared. Dean kept yelling on and on and cops were sending him off. “I WILL SUE YOUR ASS MIKEY WAY; YOU CAN GO TO FUCKING HELL.” 

Dean got back in his car and drove off out of force and angry. Mikey sat with his knees close together and I sat next him. Soon all the cops left the scene having enough evidence that it was a break in. They cleaned up Sam’s mess and got him up. We could be our house. After hours of that work we got in and saw our Dad. I held Mikey back again having to grab him in my arms. 

“YOU FUCKING BASTARD! LET YOU GO OF ME GERARD!” 

Our Father laughed and walked into his room locking the door. I let go of Mikey making him run off and kicking the door hoping it’d open. “I WILL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!!” 

After about 30 minutes Mikey gave up and slammed his head into the door, not hard enough to do much damage. I walked up to him and carried him to his room where he feels to his knees seeing and remembering where his lost lover last laid. 

“Gerard, why does God hate me so much?” The question almost scared me. We hadn’t gone to church or anything since Mom had died. Why was he bringing this up now?  
“God doesn’t hate you Mikey…” Mikey shook his head at me. “He does Gerard…I know he does. Sam had said that the angels have been helping him and he has been fine. Why hasn’t God given me an angel? It’s because he hates me that’s why!” 

I sighed as Mikey stared at the ground where Sam used to be. “Mikey…it’s all for a reason…Mom’s our angel.” 

“Then why is she doing this to me, to us, Gerard?!” 

“I don’t know Mikey…But it’s for a reason…we just have to find that reason out.” Mikey nodded and laid on the floor looking down at it. “Can you please just leave me alone for awhile…?” He said looking up at me. “Yes…just…be okay, okay?” 

He nodded and closed his eyes. I left to my room and got out my old sketchbook that was almost out of paper and drew what was going on in a couple of sheets. I got into bed and closed my eyes going to sleep fast; hoping my fears wouldn’t come true; but I was wrong.


	16. I found the reason.

March 15th, 1992: 

It’d been a couple of days since the act had happened nothing had been the same. Mikey was worst than ever. He wasn’t going to school; he wouldn’t get up until he had to and slept on the floor not even the bed. Our Father was eviler than ever, I mean he actually killed a man…could he kill us? 

I thought about that for a second but figured it’d never happen. I hadn’t been to school in a day or until my Father made me. When I went to school that day everyone stared at me like I wasn’t normal. I told myself ‘you’re normal Gerard, ignore them.’ 

Frank found me and stared. He waited for me to walk to him before he walked to me which was strange for him. “Gerard…I heard what happened.” Frank said to me staring up at me. “Yeah…” I said. Frank stared at me again like he wanted to know more. “Frank I’m fine.” 

“I know but…I just can’t believe it…” I nodded. “It’s normal for it to happen, Frank.” 

“No it’s not Gee, that doesn’t just happen to everyone.” I didn’t answer him back but sighed. I was right and knew it. At least I thought then. 

I walked to my class getting stared at from everyone; even the teacher. Was it that big of a deal? Nothing big happened to me, I’m safe. 

Someone patted my back and said I’m sorry in my ear and I wanted to scream. It was normal, couldn’t they tell! That happened the whole day; madness is what I called it. When I was walking through the school about to get home I heard a noise behind me. 

I kept walking on not seeing anything, getting outside almost home. The next thing I knew I was on the ground after getting knocked in the head. I rolled over to see Dean leaning over me, then punching me in the face before I could react. “YOUR FUCKING BROTHER KILLED MINE.” 

“No he didn’t now get the fuck off me, Dean.” 

“I KNOW HE DID AND I TRUSTED HIM; THAT BITCH.” 

“HE DIDN’T DEAN NOW GET THE FUCK OFF ME.” 

“SAMMY DIDN’T BREAK INTO YOUR HOME, MIKEY FUCKING MURDERED HIM.”

I kicked him hard in his privates and started running home locking the door behind me. I never saw Dean again but, he always said he was going to sue. I never knew where he went and why didn’t attack me or Mikey again; but he didn’t. 

I walked slowly into the den where my father was either asleep or passed out on the couch. He was breathing so it was fine. I walked on to my room, sighing and dropping my bag on the ground. It’d been a long and horrible day. 

I decided to go outside and draw what had happened that day. I went to the old park I used to go to, to draw. Teachers in the past had told me I was amazing with art…I always thought it was a lie though. After middle school I didn’t show anyone my art anymore. I didn’t want them too; because I thought it was the worst thing ever.

I was zoned out in my drawing or my art that I didn’t even know Frank was looking over me, until he said something. “That’s amazing you know.” I almost fell out of the bench hearing him. 

“F-frank what are you doing here?” 

“I live here too, remember?” It’d been so long I had forgotten Frank even lived close to me. He took my sketchbook from my hands and looked at the front. “Damn, this is old.” Frank said looking at it. “Yeah…I got it when I was 5.” 

Frank looked at the first page and stared. “What is this supposed to be?” I sighed. “It’s just what happened to me one night when I was five.” 

“You drew Superwoman?” I nodded. “That wasn’t any Superwoman…that was my Mom…the monster was my Dad. She told me that night that as long as she was around I was safe from the monster. I was 5 though, it’s stupid.” 

Frank kept flipping and flipping and stared at pages, not having to ask what was going on as my drawings where easy for him to tell. “Did this all have happened Gerard?” I nodded. 

Frank looked worried and looked up at me. “What…Why…Why haven’t you told me?” 

“I haven’t told you or anyone because it’s normal.” 

“That’s not normal Gerard…” 

“Yes, it is.” 

“Gerard it’s not, we…you have to do something about it!” 

I shook my head and took the sketchbook. “Frank…I’m fine.”

“Gerard…I don’t want you hurt.” 

“I’m fine Frank! I’ve got to go…okay? I’ll see you at school.” 

“Wait, Gerard I…” 

“Yes, Frank?” 

“I love you…” He said quietly and blushed. I kissed him on the cheek and he kissed me on the lips quick before I could say “I love you too.” I walked home smiling happy and walked in the front door. My Father was still either asleep or passed out; I didn’t know…or cared. 

I walked into my room and put my sketchbook away. I noticed the bathroom door was locked on my side. Mikey liked to be left alone in the bathroom but who wouldn’t. I went to the hall and used the other bathroom quickly so my Dad wouldn’t know. That was his bathroom and we weren’t really allowed in it. 

I looked out my window and Frank was still outside looking at my house. He wasn’t smiling though he was frowning. He looked worried about me; I knew he was. Frank left to his home and seemed to have an idea. Who knew with that man…who knew what he was going to do. 

I lay down with my eyes close for awhile looking at ceiling for about 30 minutes; thinking. I finally got up looked at the bathroom door. It was still locked and the lights were still on. I decided to look to the bottom of the floor to see if there were feet and all I saw was a sock. Not even a sock on someone’s feet just a suck on the ground.

“Mikey, you okay in there?” I asked knocking on the door. No voice or noise came to me, and I didn’t see any motions. I looked around the house and yelled for him, thinking he locked the door on accident. “Mikey, where are you, answer me?!” 

I looked in Mikey’s room again and looked about everywhere. The bathroom was even locked by his side. “Mikey!!!” I yelled, knowing he had to be in the bathroom. 

I got on the floor and looked to see if I saw feet or movement again; there was nothing. Something caught my eye though. There was a little letter on the floor where Sam was last. I didn’t know how I didn’t notice to before. I look down and it picked it up, only to drop it again.

I read it over and over again, in my mind and ran for the bathroom, slamming into it. “Mikey!!! GET OUT! GET OUT OF THERE, ANSWER ME MIKEY!” 

I found a paperclip and started and tried to unlock the door. After a minute it opened… The sock was still on the ground with feet hanging above it; perfectly pointed feet. After seeing the feet I looked up to see legs with ripped pants over them perfectly straight, not moving at all; with fingertips on the sides un-normally straight. The shoulder fell and leaned over not tense at all. With a shirt on that was black and was red on the side. The red was dry blood; dry blood of Sam’s. 

I looked up at the head that’s face was tilled chin up, with a face eyes almost closed and mouth blue. 

This was Mikey being hung by a rope on his neck by the pole of the shower. The body hanged lifeless and dull. I was in shock and couldn’t move, couldn’t speak. ‘That wasn’t my brother.’ I fought. I stood there, I couldn’t move. 

‘If you look in a mirror and don’t like what you see, you can find out firsthand what it’s like to be me. I found my reason.’ –Mikey xoxo

 

Mikey killed himself. He was dead.


	17. I can't speak

March 16th, 1992: 

I didn’t know what to do. I just stared at my little brother’s lifeless body. I couldn’t move, speak, I couldn’t even think. I zoned out and fell over on my ass in disbelief. I finally got up and ran to my father. I yelled his name over and over with no response. His eyes opened finally and saw me. “What the hell?” 

“Dad, M-Mikey is and…” I couldn’t get my words out, I couldn’t say the truth. Mikey was still alive…he couldn’t be gone. My Dad rolled his eyes. “Spit your words out son.” I couldn’t talk anymore, and was getting teary. So I did the unthinkable; at least for my house. I ran out the door and ran until I hit Frank’s house. It was very late at night but I had to hide or find someone. 

I didn’t knock on the front door I found Frank’s room, which was in the back of the house. I only knew because he was reading a book with the lights on. I heard my Dad yelling from outside and I knew if I didn’t hide fast, I’d be a goner. 

I still couldn’t speak but I knocked rapidly on Frank’s window. Frank got scared and then realized who it was, opening the window. “Gerard, its 2 o’clock-…” Before he finished talking I was in his house on the floor. My head curled into my knees and I just started sobbing. I didn’t know what else to do and only Frank would understand. He understood me. 

Frank sat next to me and patted my back with a confused look on his face. “Gerard, what happened?” I shook my head, as I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t say a word. 

Frank looked down at the floor and back up to me. He kissed the top of my head and started speaking. “Gerard…can you look at me…please?” I looked up at see his eyes, although my face must have been a wreck. He looked worried and not a little but he was scared for me. “Tell me what’s going on, Gerard…” 

I covered my mouth and shook my head. Frank kissed me. “Calm down…I’m here…” He looked so scared but in his voice it was calm and caring. “I-I and M-Mikey was and my Dad-…” 

“Ssssh…its okay…” He said putting his finger on my mouth. “I-I couldn’t find M-Mikey and…and w-when I did…w-w-when I did…oh God, F-frank.” 

He hugged me and I cried into him, sobbing out of control. “When you found him??” I kept crying and looked up to Frank. “H-he…H-he…h-hung himself…” I started balling into Frank and patted my back, and kissed my head. I didn’t want to see his face, I couldn’t. It’d scare me more. “And…t-then I tried to t-tell m-my D-dad and he…HE DIDN’T F-FUCKING CARE!” 

I sobbed more and Frank got up to get a tissue, giving it to me. “S-so I ran…r-ran out the d-door. N-now I’m h-here…” Frank hugged me tight and said something that I couldn’t hear over my sobbing. Frank kissed my forehead again and kept hugging. 

“N-now my Dad’s gonna…g-gonna h-hurt me.” Frank shook his head. “No he isn’t. You’re staying here Gerard…at least for now.” I nodded as Frank gave me a pillow and blanket to lie on. Frank lay beside me until I was calm enough. He brushed my hair out of my face and kissed me once. 

Frank hugged me later called 9-1-1 for Mikey…although we knew he was dead. We heard the ambulance and decided to go and check it out. My Dad wasn’t home; probably was looking for me. They got into the house somehow and as soon as I got there they were carrying Mikey out like some piece of trash. I started sobbing again and one of the nurses or whatever must have seen me. 

They asked me what happened and I had to say it all over again. Before I knew it, they were gone and I was left with Frank patting my back as I fell to my knees sobbing. “HIS GONE, HIS FUCKING DEAD AND I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING TO SAVE HIM.” I yelled at the top of my lungs sobbing like a 2 year old. 

I punched the ground and Frank held me back up trying to calm me down. The car left and no lights were shown. It was completely dark. 

“DAMN IT! WHY GOD? IS THIS THE REASON, YOU’VE DONE THIS US?! MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE WE GO THROUGH THIS AND YOU LET MY BROTHER DIE?!” 

Frank was telling me to calm down and held me tight. I walked with him back to his place and sat by the window. “Come in Gerard…It’s freezing out there…” 

“No…leave me out here to die…” Frank shook his head and put a blanket on me as he came out too. He cuddled me with the blanket and said “If you aren’t going in, I guess I’m not either.” I sighed and wiped my eye. 

“Frank…what’s normal?” 

“What do you mean?”

“My life…I guess it’s not normal…” 

“There’s no such thing as normal…” 

“What?” 

“Nothing is normal Gerard. Nothing can be normal. I guess people can have it better off than others but that doesn’t make them normal…it just makes them happy.”

“So…you’re saying I’m not happy with my life?”

“Well are you Gerard?” I thought about it for a second while my eyes were red and felt like they were burning. I thought about my sketchbook and if I ever drew any moments when I was happy and I began to realize, I’ve never been fully happy with my family. 

“No.” 

“Then that’s your answer.” I nodded look over to my house. There was beer can outside my yard and my father outside watching for me. “Frank…I’m going to be a goner when my Dad finds me.” 

“No you’re not…I’ll call the cops.” 

“No.” 

“Why not, you’re miserable, you’ve been abused your whole life Gerard!” 

“Because he’s my father…” It made sense in my head then but to everyone else you’d think I was crazy. “Frank…he’s all I got left…” I said looking down about to cry again. 

“But…you have me…” Frank said. I sighed. “Frank, I mean of my family. My Mother died in a car crash when I was 5 and my brother hung himself, now all I have is my Father…”

Frank looked at me and nodded. The sun was starting to come out as it was earlier in the morning. Frank and I were almost asleep still sitting near his window…the next thing we knew it was darkness and movement. My eyes were open but all I could see was black. I heard Frank screaming and I didn’t know what to do. Then I heard a laugh. 

My Dad found us.


	18. This Feeling Inside

March 16th 1992: 

I could hear Frank screaming and yelling. We couldn’t see a thing. The sack that was on my head was taken off showing my Dad with Frank beside me. We were both tied to a chair by our arms and legs. What was this?? My Dad used to be horrible but this…this was psycho. 

Frank moved around in the chair trying to get away, trying to get free…but it was no use. We were stuck. “Let us go you son of a bitch!” 

I heard a laugh from my father and a knife was pulled of his back pocket. “I wouldn’t be saying that I was you, boy.” 

“Why?” Frank asked as my Dad looked at him with an evil grin. “Well if you talk bad about me bad… I’ll say you trespassed in here. Do you know what that means, boy?” 

Frank shook his head but I knew he knew what it meant. My Dad acted like he was cutting his throat, showing Frank what would happen. “As for you Gerard…If you say anything, I’ll tell the cops you killed your brother.” 

“How is that…?”

“You were the ‘only home’ as I told them. Therefore, with enough evidence…well you know what will happen.” Frank starts getting pissed and moves yelling at my father “You sick bastard!” Frank’s chair fell with him doing nothing but knock Frank over with it. 

“Strrrrrrrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiike one!” My Father yells like a referee at a baseball game. He leans down at Frank who is on his back with his neck turned facing me. He took the knife he had in his back pocket and cut my boyfriend’s arm down slowly and deeply. 

He was turning red but not saying a word. His eyes were watery and under his breath he was saying ah and other words. I didn’t know what to do…But then I remembered; my promise…my promise to my silent brother. He told me to fight back…fight back for what I cared about. 

‘Only if I had done this sooner…’ I thought to myself looking down seeing Frank bleed. I tried to speak out at the moment but I choked up. Frank had a look in his eyes that said ‘help’. If I didn’t do my promise now…I’d never be able to do it again. I’d be trapped under my Father forever and I was tired of that. 

“S-Stop; let him go!” My Father turned and stopped cutting into my boyfriend. I’d never fought back before…ever to him. Mikey had only done that. It felt…almost good. I was…getting free. 

“I said stop.” I announced again making it clear to him, as the room got silent. “Wow Gerard…I didn’t think you had the balls.” My Father said laughing to himself. I looked at him with angry. All this angry that I had built up for years, that I never took out. 

“Now untie us you fucking asshole.” 

“What did you just say Gerard?” 

“I SAID UNTIE US YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.” Franks eyes grew big and before I knew it I was punched to the ground still tied to the chair. “That’s one strike for you Gerard…” Frank stared across to me in amaze. My Father left the room for a second going out the door leaving us here alone. 

“How the fuck are we getting out of here, Gee?” Frank asked me trying to get out. I looked around and saw a sharp cover on the wooden floor and started going close to it. “I’m going to try and untie my arm. Okay, Frankie?” 

He nodded and tried to make a joke. “Good ‘cause I got to take a piss.” I smiled at him and went to trying to untie the strings on our wrist. I moved my wrist around so it hit the edge only to make my wrist start bleeding. The string was almost ripped so I flicked my wrist making it rip off. 

Before I could get my other hand undone my Father was walking in. I acted like I hadn’t ripped my string off. He came back in with a gun in his hand. I didn’t even know we had a gun…but apparently we did. “You boys want to talk shit now?” 

We didn’t say yes or no. We stared at him with angry and waited for him to say something. “I said do you boys want to talk shit now?” We still didn’t answer. We didn’t need to. We didn’t have to. It was our choice. Our Father stared at me and pressed a knife on my chest. 

“Answer me you fucking idiot.” 

“No I don’t want to talk shit now.” He smiled and took the knife off my chest. “That’s what I thought…” Frank looked at me wondering what that was, but I had news for him. “I just want to talk about the truth you bastard.” I continued from my last statement. My Father turned right back around to me. 

“That’s strike 2, boy.” He said with angry in his voice. He pressed the knife back on my chest. “Anything else you want to say?” I nodded and turned with my arm grabbing the knife and putting it up to him cutting is chest. 

I quickly cut off my strings on my other wrist getting up to cut the string off my ankles. “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM US YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE.” I yelled. My Father got up quickly and got his gun. “I will shoot you’re friend if you step any closer to me.” He said putting the gun on Frank’s chest. 

I stared and didn’t know what to do. I was alone and weak again. My Father had won again… “Drop the knife and get down.” I did as he said and got down dropping the knife over to him. He still had the gun pointing at Frank as he grabbed back his knife. 

“Want to say any last words to your friend ya pussy?” 

“But, you said…” 

“I lied.” 

I started getting pissed and stood up. My Father was about to pull the trigger; until I jumped in front of Frank. “Shot him and you shot me too.” I was finally smarter than my Dad. He didn’t know what to do now but, little did I know he didn’t have to. 

All of a sudden our door is knocked down and windows were crashed through. “FREE DROP THE GUN!” I hear. After that I heard a shot with a little pain in my shoulder. I saw Frank hold me close to him and I didn’t know what happened. I was zoned out and clueless. 

I saw cops I believed putting handcuffs on my father and as yelling ringed in my ear. Everything was blurry it seemed and I didn’t know what was happening. Frank’s lips were moving but no words I could hear; all I heard was ringing. 

I was suddenly being put on a thing that was moving with people around me touching my shoulder; fuck that hurt. It got blurrier and blurrier as I got close to this bus type thing. I saw 2 men hiding behind a tree staring at me; or my house. Everyone thinks I’m crazy even now but…I swear it was Sam and Dean Winchester. I swear that was the only thing I saw clear was Sam and Dean and I’ll never know why. 

After seeing them I suppose, my eyes shut and blackness. I passed out.


	19. Where am I?

March 18th, 1992: 

I woke up with a voice screaming, and moments later I realize it’s my own. My eyes opened slowly seeing a person standing beside me. I was lying down in a room that I’d never seen before. It was loud and there were a lot of people outside. “Gerard Ssh…It’s okay.” I hear the person say realizing it was Frank. 

Frank kissed me before I could say another word. He was in shock. “Where…Where am I?” I looked around and stared. “You’re in the hospital Gerard.” 

“I…I am? Why am I?” 

“Well you hit your head pretty hard after your Father punched you to the ground. Then after that the cops came out of nowhere and your Dad…well he shot you, trying to shoot me. You saved my life Gee. Your shoulder was right in front of where my chest was.”

I looked down to see my shoulder in a big bandage with red from blood on it. I was remembering everything now. I didn’t want to though…

“How could you have called the cops…you told me you wouldn’t and you were with me the whole time…?” 

“It’s because I didn’t.” 

“Then who…?”

“I have no idea Gerard but…whoever did saved both our lives and helped yours. The cops said it was a boy with a different type of voice, defiantly not from here.” When Frank said that I began to remember who I thought was Sam and Dean looking at me from behind a tree. 

“The Winchester’s did it!” I called out louder than I thought getting a confused look by Frank. “Gerard…you need some rest…” he told me shaking his head and kissing mine. “But…I really think…” I was cut off. 

“Gee…Sam’s dead and Dean Hates you…it’s impossible. Get some rest…you’re not thinking right.” 

“But, I am!” 

“Ssssh…” Frank said to me putting his finger over my lips. I looked up at him and he smiled. I turned over closing my eyes again; wondering what to do from there.

*****

I woke up from another sleep in even a different area. It was a place I’d been before but never got a chance to look around. The walls in this room were old and a hole in one. It looked like someone had punched it. There was scratches on it that were older and some newer. It was a bluish type color more on the lighter side of the scale. 

The floor was hard and was wooden; very old. I was in a bed with wool blankets on me and a small pillow at my head. I tried getting up but the pain in my shoulder was too high to even begin trying. I turned my head saw Frank at a newer desk with a pencil in his hand writing. He turned hearing a noise my way seeing me finally awake. I was in Frank’s room, in his bed.

He got up and sat on the edge of the bed as I tried getting up again in pain. “No, no!” He yelled letting me lay back down. “Why am I in your room Frankie?” I asked very confused looking around. “Gerard…you have nowhere else to go…” he told me sighing afterward. 

“What do you mean...? I have a home, 5 houses away.” 

“Gee…you can’t live there anymore. I can’t live alone. You can’t pay for that whole house and food and everything on your own.” I looked at him in confusion. “I have my Dad, what are you talking about?”

“Gerard, you Dad was taken to jail…for a long, long time.” I shook my head. “No…he was a normal Dad…what possibly could he have done?!” 

“Gerard…you killed a man, abused 3 people and tried to kill you and me, now tell me that’s normal!” 

I sighed and tried getting up again but failing and really hurting my shoulder. I had no family left…what was I supposed to do. Was Frank letting me stay with him? I figured that but didn’t know if it was true. Frank turned and looked at me and kissed my cheek. “You can stay with me for awhile.” He turned and I saw his arm which had a ton of stitches. 

“Frank; what happened to your arm?!” He looked down and frowned. “You don’t remember?” 

I nodded, not remembering it at all. “I fought back and your Father did this to me…and you finally fought back.” I nodded remembering it then. “I’m so sorry that he…” 

“Its fine Gerard…If it didn’t happen who knows what would have…” He said after cutting me off looking down and kissing my bandage and patting my thigh. “I love you.” I said looking at him frowning. “I love you too.” He said in a whisper and hugged me softly. 

I cried into him and before I knew it he was crying too. It was a lovely moment not a cruel one. It was loving and caring. One of the best moments I’d ever had.   
I realized then that I had family with me. Somewhere above me and one was beside me. He was my lover and soul mate that I hoped then I’d have forever. 

Frank had had a pretty good life and was willing to give it to me. He was amazing. I loved him. If Mikey could see me now I’d be the happiest person ever. But he couldn’t handle it.

He understood what I couldn’t.


	20. Epilogue.

May 24th, 1998

It’d been years of real normal. I was 21 now and ‘married’ to Frank in our own house. Frank and I were in Collage and I was going into school for Art and Frank was going into school for music major. He was great at what he did. 

We were 2 lovers that had been happy ever since everything had happened. It was the weekend and we didn’t have any classes today we were just chilling at home. Collage was almost over and we were happy. At least for then…

I was on the couch and Frank came home from work. He had a part-time job at some store I was never interested in. I sold my art and comics to people. It was my working week not selling. 

He walked over to me smiling and then sitting on my lap, kissing me. I turned our small black TV off and kissed him back. “Hey Baby.” I said to him as he kissed me again. “You’re handy today.” 

He nodded kissing my chin. I leaned down and kissed his lips. “Frankie babe, slow down.” I said laughing a little. He cuddled onto me and kissed my cheek. “I was thinking…we haven’t had some time…” He paused to stroke my hair. “Some time alone…together.” He kissed the top of my ear and bit it a little. 

He pushed me down on the couch and kissed me over and over again. He unbuttoned my shirt as I kissed his neck. Before we got too crazy though, the phone rang. “Damn it.” I yelled getting up and going to the phone. 

“Hello?” it was a number I didn’t know. “Hello this is the state of New Jersey’s high class prison calling.” I didn’t understand…why was a prison calling me? “Can we talk to Mr. Gerard Way?” 

“I’m speaking.” 

“We’ve called to inform you that you’re father Donald Way has died.” I had to sit down. Frank came to me with his shirt still half undone and wrapped his arm around me, worried.

“W-what…? How did he…?”

“He had a new cellmate…a taller man that looked too innocent to be in a jail like this. I mean he was wearing plaid coming in here. We think the roommate did it. We don’t know how… He was found almost burned to death…around some type of circle of death. The cell next them said black smoke came out of the jail bars…I swear more and more this jail is haunted.” 

I stared. “Oh…thank you…” I hung up not sure what to do. Frank was rubbing my thigh. “Who was that?” 

“The New Jersey Prison…” Frank’s eyes went confused. “Why…?”

“My Father’s dead.” Frank sort-of smiled and sighed. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah… It’s just…that was the last of my Family.” 

“I’m your family Gee…its okay…” 

I nodded and hugged him. “You’re right…I should be happy. My Father is gone…the one that abused me.” Frank kissed me. “We could celebrate?” Frank said to me and kissed me on the cheek. I nodded. 

We kissed again and got back on the couch. It was going to a lovely night.

*****

September 30th, 2013

The sun was out and I looked out my apartment window with Frank wrapped around me. It’d been years since I’d even thought about my Father or brother or anything bad really. I was happy with Frank and that was all that mattered. 

I looked up onto the sky to see the clouds of grey again. I used to think that they meant I was sad but I no longer believe that; because above the grey there was a big blue sky that shined in the darkest days. 

I saw couples walking on the sidewalk. They almost looked like clouds. It was like a dream, like seeing Mikey and Sam together again. The clouds smiled and where happy for me now. 

Everything happens for a reason I remembered telling my silent broken brother. I found my reason I guessed. I found the truth of what normal was and found the love of my life.  
Frank was asleep with his arm around me. I decided to let him sleep in so I could be on my own for a little. I looked in the mirror of my bathroom. This was me. 

I was finally normal…well as normal as could be. My skin had white lines everywhere from him…at least they all said a story. 

I walked over to my desk in the office. I kept my old sketchbook in there. When I was 5 I wrote about my father being monster. From the way he died…who knows if he really was one. My mother was a superhero. Who could blame? I believed they were real back then. 

Mikey did too of course. I bet he loves Mom up there…wherever he is. He never got to know her so well, but she was his little boy life. He always told me he remembered one thing… That was that she promised to keep us safe as long as she was there. Mikey never understood why she left. I still think to this day our Father killed her…but I could never prove it. 

I flipped through my papers looking at the night I got raped or the day my Dad bet the crap out of me for falling. It was all written down in this tiny old sketchbook. I got to when Mikey died and when Frank shared his love with me. I made it to the end. 

I realized I had one page left…one I hadn’t used. I took out a pen and wrote one word. 

Trauma

I took out my fresh notebook and looked at all of it. I started writing ‘May 17th, 1982:

I looked out onto the dark night sky.’

 

I heard a noise from behind me and it was my wonderful Husband. He smiled kissed me. “What are you writing?” 

“Nothing…”

“You can’t be writing about nothing it’s impossible.” 

“Well nothing is normal, right?” I asked and he nodded. “Yeah, I told you that awhile back.”

“Well, I guess I’m about anything…”

“What are you saying?”

“It’s a non-normal life isn’t it?” Frank rolled his eyes and kissed my cheek. “This is going to make sense one day isn’t it?”  
“It is, Frankie. It is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. Thank you for everyone that read all of it!!!! :D Leave comments on how you felt about it, please?! It'd make me happy!


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